Always: A Teenage Love Affair
by XxBanditQueenxX
Summary: This is the story of how, in the course of one summer, we went from being lifelong friends to passionate lovers. A story of the loss of the innocence and purity of two broken souls, destined for one another. ExB! Please R&R! NOW COMPLETE!
1. Prologue

**A/N:**Hello, everyone! I have decided to finally write an "all human" story. All of my other stories (posted under a different pin name), are traditional. I wanted to branch out a bit… I know this is incredibly short, but it's a simple introductory. Please review.

Prologue

He's Edward Cullen. A bronze-haired, green-eyed Adonis. A voice like smooth velvet. Quiet and reserved, yet outgoing and friend to all. The smartest, most unbelievable person one is likely to ever meet. The absolute picture of perfection.

I'm Bella Swan. Lanky and limp-haired with basic brown eyes. A voice that sounds like fifty other girls I know. Shy and not all out-going. Disliked by most. Average, plain, and dreadfully boring.

We are soul mates. Raised together since infanthood. Partners-in-crime. Inseparable. He is my savior, and I am his release. We have always and will always be there for one another, no matter where our lives take us. He is the most important thing to me, and I to him.

This is the story of how we fell in love, against all odds. How we finally discovered that our paths in life are one and the same. This is the story of how, in the course of one summer, we went from being best friends to lovers. A story of the loss of the innocence and purity of two lost souls, destined for one another. A story of the bond forged between two broken and helpless teenagers, a bond that will carry us through a lifetime together, hand in hand.


	2. Chapter 1: How We Came to Be

**A/N:**This chapter should be better. Please read and review! Reviews really make my day and encourage me to write more.

Chapter 1: How We Came to Be

Forks, Washington. The dullest, rainiest, most miserable town in the United States. And, of course, my hometown. I was born and raised here, in a basic white house with abundant vegetation and the picturesque picket fence. But, since my mother died when I was twelve, this quaint little house hasn't really felt like home to me. My real home was just next door, in a house comparatively larger than mine and inhabited by the Cullen family--my surrogate family, and the warmest, gentlest family I've ever met.

Since that fateful and tragic day, the twenty-fifth of April six years ago, my life has taken a whirlwind turn. I landed right into the fiery pits of Hell, my father had saw to that. He blames me for my mother's death you know, as though I could have somehow stopped her from careening off the road and into the dense thicket of trees. He began to drink, heavily, after that day, and ignored me fully, only talking to me to bitch about something I had or had not done. Deep down, I knew that if my father still blamed me for my mother's death, there was no way he could possibly love me.

Edward, my lifelong partner, has been there for me, every second of everyday. Any time, any place. He knows how I suffer, though I am careful to never mention the full extent of the damages. He has held me as I cried, on more than one occasion, without asking any questions. He's the type who lets you do the talking when you're ready, and doesn't try to rush you. And if I decide not to mention anything, he accepts that as well.

I reciprocate the gesture, as well. Last year, he lost both of his grandparents on his mother's side. His grandmother had gotten sick in her old age, and when her health had taken a turn for the worse, she refused to let doctors fix the problem, instead taking the natural course that "God had intended her to take." Heartbroken, Edward's grandfather soon followed, his life extinguished by heart failure. He died of a broken heart. I knew Edward had been incredibly close to his grandparents, spending nearly every holiday at their house in Oregon. He enjoyed the company of the two more than anyone one else's company--except mine, he had said. After their deaths, Edward had become a hollow shell of the boy he once was. Sure, he was still out-going and sociable on the outside. But, he came to me late at night, and allowed me to see the real pain he was experiencing, allowed me to get inside his head and feel what he was feeling.

So, you see, we are both broken individuals, trying our best to deal with the hand we've been dealt. We seek solace in each other's company, live each day only with the encouragement of the other guiding us.

And so, here I am, sitting on my bed looking at the boy who I have been friends with for my whole life. Tonight, he was having trouble sleeping, as he did many nights. Our windows were adjacent to one another, so often, on nights like tonight, he snuck out after his family had gone to bed and in through my window. He slept in my bed when he couldn't find it in himself to be alone, just as I slept in his after a particularly silent day.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I asked him, concerning flooding my body.

Even in the pale moonlight that bathed my bed, I could see him shrug. "I couldn't sleep. I need you, Bella."

I nodded knowingly and held my arms out to give him a quick hug. Before his tragic loss, I never would have guessed that he, of all people, could be vulnerable. But, as I held him close to my own body, his vulnerability was apparent and he knew it. "I'm weak, huh?" he asked into my shoulder as he squeezed me tightly.

"No, Edward. You're not weak. You're human."

He let go of me, and settled into his side of the bed. I watched as he fluffed his pillow and covered up with his half of my blankets. "Goodnight, Bella. Thank you," he said sleepily, as he did every night he spent with me.

Tonight, I wasn't feeling particularly tired, so I decided to watch Edward as he drifted to sleep. It felt a tad voyeuristic, watching him as his mask of pain slowly melted into one of peace and calm relief. I looked at his perfect bronze hair that blew gently against the pillow in the breeze that blew through the open window. By now, I had memorized the sight of Edward sleeping, I knew exactly how he positioned his body, and exactly how long it took him to fall into a deep sleep. He always slept on his stomach, with one arm under the pillow. He didn't know it, and I would rather die than tell him, but often, after he had gone home in the morning, I hugged his pillow close to me. His scent, that aggravatingly sweet, yet manly scent always lingered, even after he was gone. That scent made me feel as though he were here with me, and made me feel safe.

Edward stirred slightly and I saw his eyes open briefly. He reached his free hand over to brush my hair away from my face, and said, "You should sleep, Bella. You'll be exhausted in the morning."

I made a murmuring noise, one of agreement, and closed my eyes. I heard him sigh as he shifted positions, so that his other arm was under the pillow, the back of his head facing me. I couldn't sleep, though. I opened my eyes once more and watched the wind play in his hair, thinking of how much I enjoyed the feeling of him next to me. There was nothing sexual or romantic about it. We were platonic friends, never showing any interest in the other in any way but friendship. So having him in my bed didn't make my heart race or think naughty thoughts, like it would to most any other girl who had crossed his path. It, instead, made me feel safe to have him by my side. It made me feel as though I could offer him safety and understanding in return.

I awoke to the sound of him climbing through the window. It was morning, though the clouds were so thick, and the rain so heavy that it seemed too dark to be day. He turned as I said his name. "Yeah?" he asked.

"I'm coming over later. Charlie's home today, and I'd rather not deal with him."

Edward nodded grimly, then smiled. "We could go to the movies. Tonight's Fright Fest over at the Reynold's theater."

I laughed. "You and your horror films, Cullen."

He smiled and ran, lightening fast to his own window, which slid easily up and he stealthily climbed through, careful not to wake his family. I closed my own, hating the clammy moisture from the rainstorm. It was only eight, and I was in no mood to get up yet, so I turned over and closed my eyes. I always feel saddened after Edward leaves, like part of me is missing. It literally ached when we were apart, and I often wondered if he felt the same when he was alone in his room.

I turned over once more, to observe the day outside. It rained basically everyday, and I could remember countless days growing up when we were caught inside. Edward and I played games, many of our own creation, on these days. Sometimes he chased me around his house, brandishing a sword and we fought to the death. Sometimes we pretended to be chefs and would destroy his mother's kitchen in the process. Then, as we grew older, we listened to music on rainy days. He recited poetry to me, some of his own words, and some of our favorite poets. Often times, rainy days were spent creatively. We both played guitar, though he was substantially better than I. He played the piano as well, and I admired him greatly for it. There was something old-fashioned in the way he played piano, and it always struck me as being the "epitome" of Edward. The piano was old-fashioned, melodious, and beautiful, just as he was.

He often wrote songs on the piano, and I pulled out my classical guitar and would strum along, letting my fingers lead the way, and almost always, our songs became one. Sometimes he would hum or sing a few lines here and there, but most of the time it was purely instrumental.

And sometimes, we just sat side by side, reading or staring at the ceiling, lost in our own thoughts. We never needed to say much, and silences were almost never awkward between us.

I decided there was no use in lying in bed anymore, knowing full well that I was itching to get up and start my day. I grabbed my towels and made my way to the hall bathroom. I could here Charlie banging around in the kitchen downstairs and hoped against all hopes that he would leave me alone today. The shower offered little relief to my sore body, bruised and colored with an array of green and purple.

I dressed in my usual vintage band shirt and form fitting jeans. I didn't dress girlishly, but it wasn't boyish, either. I had my own way of doing things, and always had. My shirt read Led Zeppelin, a band few people in Forks knew of these days. It was like that with most of my favorite bands, and before she died, my mother had always told me I was born in the wrong generation. She had been a flower child, and I had gotten a lot of my taste from her. I also drew influence from the early punk of the seventies, and it was just noticeable in my clothing.

I tied my always limp hair back and brushed my teeth. I never wore make up, ever, though Edward's sister, Alice was constantly trying to force it on me. I slipped on my shoes, a pair of basic converse shoes, simple and plain--the way everything about me is. I could hear Charlie calling me from downstairs, and I cringed. I didn't want to go downstairs, afraid of what awaited me. I could easily sneak out of the window and through Edward's. But I knew that what awaited me if I didn't comply was much worse.

I sighed unhappily and made my way down the creaky stairs. "Yeah, dad?"

"Don't you say, 'Yeah, dad' in that way. I am your father, and you will show me respect girl," he said, grabbing my forearm.

He let me go and turned back to his pan. "I'm going out. When I get back, I expect you to be here. Understand? Don't go bothering the Cullens."

"I won't, dad," I said, knowing full well that as soon as Charlie's cruiser was out of the drive, I would be off to Edward.

Charlie glared at me. "You're getting much too rude these days. I don't know where you come off thinking you're better than your own father."

I rolled my eyes behind his back and went back upstairs. I strummed my guitar mindlessly, listening for the exact moment his tires left the drive. He looked as though the fish had not been biting lately. His fishing day was sure to end in misery and he would grow sullen and dejected as a result of a wasted day.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, I was climbing up the old trellis that no longer held roses, to the third story, and through Edward's window. He saw at his piano, writing down notes on a sheet of paper. He hadn't heard me come in, and I was able to sneak up expertly. I put my hands over his eyes and he jumped slightly. "Hey, you. I was wondering if I'd have to come and save you soon."

"Nah, Charlie wasn't too bad today," I said thoughtlessly.

Edward's eyes were concerned, but he smiled. "Rosalie and Jasper are over. Everyone's downstairs."

"So, why in hell are you moping around up here?" I asked him, looking over his shoulder at the notes he had scribbled down. Across the top, he had written in his elegant script, a script that seemed out of place in modern times, "Bella's Lullaby."

"Lullaby?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

Edward's smile fell and he blushed softly. "Yeah. I felt inspired this morning."

"By my smiling face," I said matter-of-factly.

"Of course, because we all know you smile so often these days," he replied, his voice full of an ancient sadness I couldn't quite understand. "Actually, I was more inspired by our friendship, our lives."

I laughed lightly. "You are so odd. How on earth could you possibly make a song out of our lives? It would be a mess!"

He raised an eyebrow, challenging my statement, before he turned and closed his eyes. His fingers began to move fluidly over the keys, and the room was suddenly filled with the sweetest melody I had ever heard. It was a melancholy, mournful tune, though it had a certain beauty to it that was irresistible. And he was right, I heard two separate melodies that intertwined, becoming one song. It was our lives in music. I ruffled his hair, though I had a small tear in my eye. He looked up and gave me a triumphant smile. "And you doubted my brilliance," he said, false arrogance coloring his tone.

"Shut it," I said. "What do you say we go down and see what the others are up to?"

He nodded and rose, towering a full seven inches above me. He ruffled my hair and said, "Come on, short stuff."

I swatted his arm, only playing angry as he stepped to the stairs. "You're not going to fall down and break a limb are you? Because I'm really not in the mood to take a trip to the e.r. today."

"Aren't you just a riot?" I asked sarcastically. I made it down to the last stair before my foot caught my pant leg and I tripped. I felt Edward catch me around the waist. He was laughing at me. "What am I going to do with you, Bella?"

"Nice of you to join us," Alice said as Edward and I bickered playfully.

"Eh, we thought so, too," I said.

"So, what's on the agenda for today? What are we going to do to entertain ourselves?" Emmett asked.

I shrugged as Edward said, "Bella and I were thinking of going to Fright Fest."

"Actually," I broke in, "Edward was thinking of going to Fright Fest. I do believe I was forced into doing it."

"Bella, I'm not forcing you. And it didn't take much to convince you to go," he pointed out.

"You know, you two argue like an old married couple," Rosalie commented, breaking our conversation.

"Of course they do. Everyone knows Edward and Bella are going to end up together," Alice said knowingly.

I looked at Edward and he looked back. A smile broke over his face and he made a face at me. "I don't think so. Bella's practically my sister."

"Yeah, Alice. It's not going to happen."

Emmett rolled his eyes. "You two are so naïve."

"No, we're just sure of our status," Edward replied coolly. "As friends."

"Whatever you say. I just know we'll be seeing bronze-haired accident prone children one day," Alice said confidently.

This whole conversation was making me uncomfortable. Never before had I ever though of Edward as anything but my best friend. Of course, he was inhumanly gorgeous, but I had grown immune to that beauty. Edward seemed to be just as uncomfortable. Luckily, Jasper, sensing the tension in the air, quickly changed the subject. "So, are we going to throw on some music or not?"

Emmett jumped up and went to the cd player. He threw on a mix cd Rosalie had made him, and we all laughed as 'Lady Marmalade' began. "Nice Em," I said.

"I happen to like this song," he said, dancing idiotically to the song. He knew every word and sang it loudly and proudly.

Every so often, I looked over at Edward, still thinking of Alice's comments, and would find him staring intently at me. There was no way she was right. Edward and I were practically Siamese twins. We were inseparable, and had been since we were in diapers. I shook my head at the thought. I was not one to fall in love, especially with my best friend. There was just no way. I was guarded and awkward when it came to boys and dating…or socializing period. The guys in school gave me dirty looks and teased me behind my back. But with Edward, I was not awkward, and he did not shoot me dirty looks. He was unlike other guys I had grown up with.

And yet, every time I looked over at him and saw him staring back, it sent an odd tingle up my spine. He smiled crookedly, a smile I had grown to love in time. "So, Edward," Emmett began.

Edward looked away from me and to his brother. "What?"

"How about Amber?" Emmett asked, not looking up from his video game.

Edward looked a little confused. "How about Amber for what?"

I could practically hear Emmett roll his eyes. "As a beautiful piece of arm candy?"

"I don't even know who she is," Edward said to my great relief.

Emmett paused his game and turned around in his seat on the floor. "You know. The blond girl with the plump lips in your advanced chemistry class."

Edward was quiet for a moment. "Yeah. What about her?"

"She may have expressed to me, dear bro, a certain interest in you," Emmett said. "I said I'd talk to you, and get you to consider a date."

"You what?" Edward was slightly angry.

"Calm down, Edward. It's one date with a good looking girl. How bad could it possibly be?"

Edward bit his lip. I had this indescribable feeling in my chest, a strong burning and aching. "SAY NO!!!" my mind was screaming.

Emmett smiled. "Come on, Edward. You need to get out and experience the ladies. Ever since grandma and grandpa died, you've just been so…blah. Why don't you get out and have a little fun?" Emmett winked suggestively, causing the burn in my chest to grow stronger.

Why was I feeling this way? What was that heavy feeling in my chest? Edward nodded and smiled slightly. "Sounds good to me. I've not been out in over a year."

"Good man. Call her to let her know you'll be picking her up at eight," Emmett said, appeased at last.

Edward sighed and he looked sad for a moment before he looked at me. "You wanna go make some food? I'm famished."

I followed him into the kitchen and sat at his table. "So, what's on the menu?" I asked as he dug through his refrigerator.

He was pulling out jars of pizza sauce when he looked over at me. "French bread pizzas."

It was basically the only thing we could actually cook, and it was relatively quick. He tossed a bag of sprinkle cheese and pepperonis onto the counter and then walked across the room to the bread box. I couldn't help but notice that he had a troubled look on his face. It seemed to mirror the trouble that was stirring within my own body. I couldn't help what came next. "So, you're going out with Amber?"

Edward's eyes flashed up to meet mine and he quickly looked down at a spot on the table next to my hand. He nodded slowly. "That's okay, right?"

I swallowed hard. What was I going to say? I didn't have anything against the girl--I had never even met her. I didn't even understand the horrible feeling I was having. "Sure. Who am I to tell you who to see?"

"I'm glad you agree to this, Bella. Emmett's probably right. I should get out more often. You should too," he said, though his face didn't seem to agree with his words.

I felt awkward now. I cleared my throat and got up to stand next to him. "Come on, let's get on it. I'm starved."

He pulled out a spoon and began to spread a smooth layer of sauce while I went over the sauced area with thick layers of cheese. We both took time to put the pepperoni on and he slid it into the oven. We went out to the living area, where Emmett was now trying desperately to beat Alice at his own video game. Girlish as she was, she certainly knew how to put up a fight. Emmett groaned as she shrieked triumphantly. "Where's my five bucks, Em?" she asked.

He sighed unhappily and took out his wallet. Edward laughed heartily. "Never bet against Alice. You should know that by now."

I agreed and Edward walked upstairs, beckoning me to follow. It was the room on the far end, with the, 'Abandon hope all ye who enter' sign. Leave it to Edward to draw inspiration for interior decorating from the greatest literary pieces in history. The nerd.

"Ugh, sometimes, I just feel like our friends are over at the house way too often," he said, grabbing a handful of cds from his shelf and began to look for one.

"I'm a friend. And I practically live here," I pointed out, flopping on his bed and grabbing a magazine from his night table. There was an article on Robert Plant and Jimmy Page that I was eager to read.

"Hmm, now that you mention it, you're right. We spend way too much time together," he said, though playfully.

"I agree. And if I had somewhere more exciting to spend my summer than your bedroom, I'd never come over."

"Who says my bedroom can't be exciting?" he asked, laying down on his stomach next to me and staring down into my face.

I sighed. "Look what we're doing. Reading and listening to music. The same thing we do everyday," I said.

"Hey, I got a hot date tonight," he joked. "Something way out of the norm these days."

I grew silent and his face grew serious. Neither of us spoke for a moment, until he finally asked. "Do you ever think about what Alice said today. About us getting together?"

My brow furrowed as I eyed his curious face. I shook my head. "Never. You're way too brotherly to me."

He nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess you're right." And he rolled over onto his back to stare at the ceiling. I went back to my article, but was much too distracted to pay much attention now.

Why was he asking me that? Did that mean he had thought of us in that way? If so, he must know that we are practically twins, and therefore cannot be married. I smelled the warm aroma of cheese and sat up. "I'm gonna go get the pizza out of the oven. You coming?"

He sat up, too and nodded. "Yeah, I'll be down in one second."

I saw Edward reach into the pocket of his jeans and pull out his cell phone. And at once, instinctively, I knew he was calling Amber, the beautiful blond.


	3. Chapter 2: His Date

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews. And I guess I should say, thanks for all of the alerts and favorites as well, since you guys sent more of those than reviews! Flattering!

Chapter 2: His Date

I stayed with Edward for the rest of the day, until at last, he had to get up and get ready for his date with Amber. He got up at seven and wandered upstairs, a sullen look on his face. He did not look like a teenaged boy about to pick up a beautiful blond to go on a date. He looked more like a five year old who just found out his dog had gotten run over.

I sat downstairs with Alice and the others and watched as Emmett and Jasper Indian wrestled. I didn't know why Jasper even tried to beat Emmett at anything physical anymore--he always loses…

And that's when it happened: Edward came down the stairs, looking more like a Greek god than was really necessary for a first date. He was rolling up the sleeves on a button down green shirt, the one I had bought him two birthdays ago. It brought out the gorgeous olive color of his eyes, and accented his bronze hair, which fell messily and sexily into his eyes as he looked down. "How do I look?" he asked me.

I found myself unable to form a single coherent thought. I swept my eyes once more over his form, the faded jeans, his pristinely kept white sneakers, the shirt, and finally, I dragged my eyes up to meet his. He ran a hand through his hair nervously, allowing it to fall back into his eyes slightly as I stood there like a gaping idiot. "Is it that bad. Should I change?"

Emmett came up behind me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Look at that, Ed, you made the girl speechless."

I elbowed him and Edward let out a long exhale of breath. It smelled sweet with toothpaste. It drove me completely crazy. "I have to go," was all I said, before I rushed out the door.

I heard Edward fall in step beside me as he walked to his garage. "I'll be back pretty late, so don't wait for me to come over tonight," he said, and I thought I heard a small amount of regret in his voice.

I nodded as he turned to his garage. I kept walking straight toward my house. I heard the sound of his old Volvo's tires on the gravel, and I clenched my eyes tightly. For some reason, unknown to me, I felt like crying. I must be losing my mind. First I couldn't take my eyes off my best friend, and now I wanted to cry because he was going out with someone else. She was probably really pretty. Someone who could match Edward's looks, if that was possible, and look right hanging off his arm.

I entered the house, quiet and empty. Charlie was still out fishing, not that it made much difference to me anymore. I went upstairs to take a bath--the one activity that made me relax fully. I stood in front of the mirror in my bathroom, looking at myself for a long moment. My hair was limp and flat, never did much of anything, and was usually tied back as a result. My face was heart shaped, my eyes big and an ordinary brown color. My lips were average and a pale pink. My skin was pale, and not in a good "glowing in the moonlight, beautiful milky smooth skin" way. Pale in a "just crawled out of a crypt, vampire" way. As my eyes traveled the rest of my body, my mind scrutinized it harshly. Breasts- average B's. Nothing amazing. Legs- thighs touched each other at the top. Torso- thin, hips stuck out slightly. Comparatively, I was far too ordinary for Edward's majestic beauty.

I ran the water, hot and steamy, as I continued to mess with my hair in front of the mirror. Nothing would make that frail mess look any better. Finally, tired of causing myself to fall in to an even deeper depression than the unexplained one I was already feeling, I slipped into the bathtub. I sighed happily as the water engulfed my body. I instantly felt my tense muscles relax. I stayed in the tub until all of the steam had gone from the mirror and the water was lukewarm. My mind had stayed calm the whole time, only drifting to Edward once.

But, after I was dressed and I no longer had the comfort of the hot water to relax and distract me, my mind caught up with me. It raced with the thoughts of what Edward and Amber could possibly be doing. They went to a movie, probably Fright Fest. She probably got scared easily and cuddled up to him. He probably wrapped an arm around her and smiled as her hair ticked his neck as she leaned her head on him. He was probably kissing her. "NO!" I screamed mentally. The thought of him kissing her was too much.

I was pacing in my room, scenes of Edward and a pretty blond girl kissing and doing unholy things racing through my mind. I couldn't make it stop. The agony of the unknown things he was doing with her was making me physically sick. I tried desperately to read from _Wuthering Heights_ but my eyes only skimmed the words, my mind else where.

Finally, around ten I heard the crunch of his tired pulling up the drive and finally the garage door sliding closed. I ran to my window and opened it. He heard it and craned his neck slightly. "Hey you," I said, hoping he wouldn't catch the shake in my voice. "I thought you said you'd be back late."

He shrugged. "She has to work in the morning, so she had me drop her off early."

"Are you coming over tonight?" I asked, hearing the front door open, and Charlie's boots on the wood floor.

"I don't think so. I think I can make it on my own tonight."

I nodded. He could make it on his own, but could I?

O.O.O.O

It turns out the answer to that question was no. I tossed and turned all night. Before, I was able to sleep on my own most nights. I only needed Edward after a particularly silent day of Charlie ignoring me. But Charlie hadn't even been home yesterday to ignore me. I should have been fine. I knew it was because of last night's Edward rendezvous with Amber.

After dressing quickly I climbed the trellis to his window. He was still asleep when I climbed through. It was odd for him to be asleep this late. He was usually up at the crack of dawn. His arm was shoved under the pillow, his back to me. I walked over to his chair and picked up the Les Paul from the guitar stand. I had always loved this guitar, and how Edward's eyes lit up when he played my favorite songs on it. I began to strum absentmindedly, while I watched him sleep. His shoulders poked out from underneath the blanket. They were bare and I saw that he had more muscles than he led on. His shoulders looked strong, and I knew it was because of Emmett's new exercise regiment, which Edward had taken on as a distraction.

Finally, Edward stirred and his eyes fluttered open. He heard the guitar and turned over to face me. "Hey, you're here early."

"It's ten in the morning. That's late for me."

He frowned slightly and sat up, throwing the blankets off from him. "I'll be back in a second" he said, walking past me in nothing but a thin pair of boxer briefs. I stared as he walked into the bathroom. He obviously saw nothing wrong with his half-nakedness, and why should he? We used to run around the house naked as toddlers for goodness sake. I however, had to swallow hard. He showered quickly, and walked out wiping his hair with his favorite yellow towel.

He looked at his guitar in my hands and shook his head. "You playing it wrong."

"No, I'm not. You taught me this," I said in my defense.

He shook his head once more. "No no no. Watch me," and he took the guitar from my hands.

He played the song perfectly, and of course proved me wrong. I pouted and he rolled his eyes. "If you're going to play 'Stairway' you'll have to make Jimmy Page proud."

I punched his arm and he shrugged, placing his guitar back on the stand. "I'm absolutely famished. Let's go grab a bite."

I followed him downstairs, where Emmett and Alice were sitting at the kitchen table. They grew silent at the sight of Edward and I. We automatically grew suspicious of what they had been talking about. "Hello, Alice," I said, narrowing my eyes in a way that clearly said 'You had better tell me what is going on.'

As Edward stared Emmett down, Emmett turned his focus on the car magazine in front of him. Edward looked at me and we both rolled our eyes at his siblings secretive behavior. "So…Edward," his brother began as Edward searched through the cabinets in search of the Count Chocula cereal.

"What?" he asked, bored already.

"How was your date?" Emmett asked.

Edward's eyes shot to his brother and the blood rushed to his face. "It was good."

"Good? Can I get some details, please?" Emmett probed.

I could have sworn Edward's eyes flitted to mine for a fraction of a second. He concentrated a little more than necessary as he made us some cereal. "Amber's really nice. And funny. We just went to a movie."

"Did you kiss her?" Alice asked.

Edward's face was definitely turning a deep scarlet now and he avoided looking in my direction as he made his way to the table. "I'll take that as a yes," Alice said.

Emmett laughed and clapped his brother on the back, causing him to choke on his cereal momentarily. "Sorry, little bro. So…are you two going out now?"

Edward nodded slowly. "I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend after she kissed me."

"She kissed you? Man you really lucked out," Emmett said.

Edward continued to nod. I felt nauseous. My heart was pounding in my ears and I no longer wanted the bowl of chocolaty cereal Edward had made me. I put it on the counter and leaned back against it for support. Edward had an official girlfriend. He had had girlfriends before. Before his grandparents had died and before he had broken. Before, it never bothered me. But, a small roar was building up within me, and I couldn't even tell what was causing it.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Alice asked, her voice flooded with concern.

Edward finally looked up at me, and he looked sad and concerned. "You look kinda pale, Bella. Maybe you should go rest," he said.

"I'm-I'm fine," I lied.

He looked at me for a minute longer until I broke the gaze. "What are we going to do today?" I asked.

He became fascinated by his bowl once more. "I'm going to pick Amber up from work at two."

Emmett laughed. "All righty then, you stud."

I couldn't find the energy to say anything more and Alice motioned for me to follow her upstairs. Edward didn't look at me at all as I left. Usually he would joke me and tell Alice to take it easy with me. He knew I hated our one on one time when she decided to treat me as her own life-sized Barbie. We went up to her room and, to my surprise she sat on her bed instead of making a b-line for her closet. She patted the bed next to her and I sat down reluctantly. "What's the matter, Bella?"

"What-what do you mean?" I asked.

"Oh, come off it, Bella. You've been acting weird for the last couple of days."

"I…don't know what you're talking about," I lied.

So, it was obvious to those around me that I was being a freak. I just hoped it wasn't obvious to Edward. I just hoped that Alice wouldn't notice the fact that I had started acting like this since I found out that Edward would be seeing Amber. But of course, nothing could slip past Alice. She smiled an annoyingly knowing smile. "Do you like my brother?"

I couldn't look at her as I said," Sure. He's my best friend."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it."

I was silent for what must've felt like eternity to Alice. But she was patient with me, a knowing smile stretched across her waiting face. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"You like him."

"No. I can't. He's my friend. Practically a brother."

"Then why have you been so spastic about Amber?" she asked skeptically.

She had gotten me there. Why was I so spastic about her? I didn't even know myself. "I just want Edward to be happy. I don't want him hurt anymore than he already has."

Alice nodded and I laid back on her bed. She flitted around in her closet, trying on various things to wear to her date with Jasper. I fell asleep on her bed, for who knows how long, and when I awoke, no one was home. Edward was out with Amber, Alice with Jasper, and Emmett was probably out with Rosalie. And here I was. Alone. In my best friend's house.

I walked down the hall to his bedroom and entered it silently. I looked around at it, everything inviting and familiar. It felt odd to here without him, but I didn't care. I simply laid back on the bed I knew so well. I was exhausted, despite the hour or two I had just spent sleeping.

I awoke to Edward shaking me gently. "I think it's time for you to go home now Bella," he said.

I rubbed my eyes. "I think I'll stay here tonight."

He shook his head sadly. "No, Bella. I think you should go sleep in your own bed."

I sat up, and my heart felt like it was being torn to shreds. He had never turned me down before. Ever. I was always welcome when I needed him. I could feel the hurt etch itself across my face and Edward sighed. "I don't think Amber would appreciate another girl in my bed."

"But you're my best friend. We've been doing this, long before Amber even met you," I said sadly.

"It doesn't matter. It's not fair to her if you and I stay as close as we are. I think maybe we should," he turned away from me, "Spend a little time apart."

I gasped slightly. The tears were definitely threatening to fall now. "Bella, you will always be my best friend and my companion. Always. But I have a girlfriend now, and I need to be fair. I wouldn't like it if some other guy snuck through her window at night. I mean…put yourself in her position," he pleaded with me.

All I did was nod and climb through his window. I couldn't bring myself to picture myself in her position. I knew that he was right. If I was Amber, I would hate to have me climbing through his window, sleeping in his bed. But…he was mine. My friend. My partner in crime. My Edward.

O.O.O.O

Please review, you guys! I love reviews, more than I love alert adds (and that's a lot), because they let me know what you all think.


	4. Chapter 3: Meeting Her

**A/N:** First off, thanks for all of the reviews and adds. Y'all rock! Second, I didn't mean to make you guys cry on that last chapter…eh, who am I kidding, yes I did. But this is an Edward /Bella story, I assure you. I am one hundred percent an E/B shipper. Just read on, and you'll see.

Chapter 3: Meeting Her

**EPOV**

I stayed up all night that night. I didn't even try to go to sleep. What I did to Bella was horrible, unspeakable, unforgivable. I am her best friend, and I turned her away. Why? Because she told me she told me I was 'way too brotherly' for her to ever be with, and I now have a girlfriend.

A girlfriend. I don't know why, but I've always thought that Bella would be my first serious girlfriend. I mean, sure, I've had some girlfriends in the past, before my grandparents died. But those were little high school freshman crushes that lasted a week or two. Amber really seems to like me, and I think she's nice and adorable in her own way.

Not the way Bella is adorable, though. Bella is beautiful, and most of that stems from the fact that she doesn't even realize what she does to me! Whenever I lay next to her at night, I often times wish I could just wrap my arms around her, kiss her, hold her, touch her. But, I behave because she doesn't feel the same way.

She has been acting rather strangely, though. Ever since she found out about Amber yesterday. I think she's being overprotective of me, Alice said she had told her she just wanted what was best for me. She's worried about me, as a sister would fret over her brother. Deep down inside, I had wished, prior to speaking with Alice, that Bella was acting oddly because she wanted me.

And so, I kicked her out. I feel like such an ass, like the scum of the earth. I just kicked my best friend, and my secret love, out of my room when she needed me. But, if I am going to be a good boyfriend to Amber, I'm going to need to stay away from Bella. I can't have her distracting me. I already spent almost the whole car ride to and from Port Angeles talking about her. I'm sure Amber wanted to kill me by the end. But it was 'word vomit'-- involuntary surrendering of words and the inability to make it cease. Emmett says I need a little fun and that Amber is the perfect form of fun. And, if Bella is not going to come after me, I might as well go after Amber.

Bella was going to be my downfall if I did not take some time away from her. She was going to make me crazy with want. I looked over at her window after the sun rose to a cloudy, rainy day. I could see her silhouette moving around, and wished desperately I could be up there with her, telling her the torment I've felt all night.

**BPOV**

I hadn't slept all night. After I quietly crawled through my window, I just sat on the floor and broke down. Edward was like a different person when he woke me. I had never been denied access to his bed, not even when he had had other girlfriends, so why the change now? He must really like Amber, then.

Edward really did not know the effect he had on me. He was the only guy who could make me cry all night and make me still want him more than the air I breath. I wished he could see this, see how much I needed him.

**EPOV**

Weeks have passed and Bella and I haven't spoken but twice. If, and when, she comes over, she heads straight up to Alice's room. The only two times she has spoken to me since that night three weeks ago, was to tell me that she would no longer need me to drive her to work, and that she would like her tablature books back.

I was going insane. I have never spent more than a week away from her, and that one week I did spend away was because my family had gone on a cruise. I couldn't even keep away from her when she got the chicken pox. Oh no, I sat right along side her, itchy and miserable. But together.

And now, with the cold shoulder she's giving me, I feel like a leper. I know I deserve it. I just never thought Bella would react this way…

**BPOV**

It has been three weeks and two days since I've spoken to my former best friend. It is killing me not to be able to sneak through his window and play guitar with him at three in the morning when I can't sleep. It is hurting every bone in my body to have to give him the silent treatment. But he said we needed a break after all.

Alice called me around noon to inform me that Edward was bringing Amber by for dinner around seven. She also said I needed to be there. I didn't want to go--I would've rather been burned alive at the stakes. But, there was no excuse for me not to, except that Edward and I no longer got along. But Alice didn't think that was a valid excuse.

So here I stood, at quarter to seven, in front of a mirror. I was wearing my usual t-shirt and jeans. I was actually contemplating putting on something nicer, but didn't feel the need. I couldn't compete with Amber, so why try?

I reluctantly knocked on their door, wishing against all odds that they had packed up and moved away. But instead, Alice answered the door, more cheerful than this solemn event really required. She raised her eyebrows and pointed to the living room. "She's here. Try to behave civilly, Bella."

I opened my mouth to argue and Alice put a hand over it. "You'll see why once you meet her."

I followed Alice into their living room, and was momentarily stunned at the sight before me. Edward was sitting on the loveseat with a beautiful girl clinging to him in a way I only wished I could. She was amazing looking, with strawberry blond hair, curled to perfection. Her eyes were dark and amber colored, big around and innocent looking. Her skin had a natural glow to it. She was everything I was not.

Amber stood to greet me. "You must be Bella. I've heard so much about you, Edward never really stops talking about you."

As she gave me a friendly hug, which I did not return, I saw Edward blushing over her shoulder. The fact that I did not hug her back seemed to have no effect because she grabbed my hand and brought me to sit beside her. "I've just been so eager to finally get to meet you. Edward tells me you're an amazing person, and I wanted to see for myself."

"Yeah, I'm really amazing," I said sarcastically. '_Not amazing enough for Edward, though_,' my mind was screaming.

Amber laughed a laugh that reminded me of a young child at an amusement park and swatted my leg. "Oh, Bella."

I wanted to choke her. She was far too kind. "So, where do you work?" Jasper asked, sensing the situation turning sour.

Amber turned to him and gave him a dazzling smile. "Oh, I don't work for money. I work at the animal shelter on weekdays, and with children at the hospital on the weekends."

It was official. I wanted not only to choke her, but to choke the life out of her. Why should she get great looks and a great personality. Why couldn't she be the stereotypical blond? Good looking and evil?

She opened her mouth to speak again. "Edward's been coming by to help me out, isn't that right, Eddie?"

Edward nodded and flashed her his award winning half-smile. I scoffed. "Eddie? Is that what you go by these days?"

He blushed and looked at the ground, while Amber looked between us, confused. Alice cleared her throat. "Bella," she said warningly.

"I'm on my best behavior, mommy, I swear," I shot at her.

"So, Bella…you and Edward have been friends for how long?" Amber asked in her sickeningly sweet voice.

"Since we were born. I know everything there is to know about him. For example, one time he got his head stuck in a--"

"Bella! Can I speak with you?" Edward asked.

I sat back on the couch. "Ah, I'm sorry, _Eddie,_ but I think I'd like to sit here a little longer. Chat with Amber a little more. Tell her what a _fabulous_ guy you are."

"Isabella, kitchen, now," Edward said, grabbing my wrist and dragging me away. "What is your problem?" he asked once we were in the kitchen.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said innocently.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Bella, you've been acting flakey. All I would like to know is why?"

"Why do you think?" I snapped.

"I'm sorry I kicked you out," he said in a hushed whisper, "but you need to stop trying to sabotage the best thing that's happened to me in a while. I am with Amber, despite whatever aversion you have to her."

I shoved past him, feeling more angry than I had any right to. The best thing that's happened to him in a while. What the hell was I?

**EPOV**

Bella was really starting to get on my nerves. She was acting like she was jealous or something, though I knew this to be impossible. Telling stupid stories and trying to embarrass me.

Dinner was an awkward affair. Everyone was silent as we ate Esme's delicious lasagna. Bella was talking with Alice at the other end of the table, whispering so that I had to strain to hear what they were talking about. Apparently there was a party somewhere, and we had all been invited, and Alice was going shopping. Typical.

I walked Amber to her car and stood in front of her. She placed her hand on my face sweetly. "What's wrong, Eddie?"

I shook my head. "Nothing," I tried to smile. "I'm sorry tonight was a little awkward. I promise it wont be like this next time."

"I had fun. Everyone is so nice. Bella's funny," she said, before leaning up to kiss me.

I placed my hands on her hips lightly as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. Oh, how I wished this were Bella.

I heard my front door slam and looked up in time to see a flash of blue shirt as Bella ran to her own house. She really was beginning to worry me.

**BPOV**

After two hours of Amber charming everyone, I thought I would throw up. I saw Edward walking Amber, the beautiful saint, to her car. I watched as she touched his face, leaned up to kiss him. I watched as he responded. And then I couldn't contain myself. I broke down, sobbing and made a break for my house. Once there, I went up to my room and sat on my bed. I put my head in my hands and sobbed until I felt like I couldn't anymore.

And that's when I finally understood that horrible feeling I was having in my chest cavity. It was **jealousy.**

O.O.O.O

I know it's short, but I'd love a review anyway! I'll try to update relatively quickly.


	5. Chapter 4: Party Time

**A/N: **I must be really bored these days…

Chapter 4: Party Time

I didn't go over to the Cullen house at all for the following week. I didn't want to see Edward at all after I realized that I was indeed jealous of Amber. Amber…ugh, I hated her. Way too nice for how pretty she was. I mean come on! If she was going to have looks, at least should could have a personality like venom… geez.

I didn't want to see Alice either. I knew she would just ask about my odd behavior that night, my unexpected departure after Edward kissed that stupid little Barbie… She and Edward both called me, multiple times a day for the last week. But I wasn't up for talking to them.

So, when I had a knock on my door that night, I knew to expect one of the Cullens. I didn't however, expect it to be Emmett. He gave me a broad smile and laughed when he saw my shock. "Can I come in?" he asked, walking past me without waiting for a response.

He sat on my couch and motioned for me to sit next to him. "So what's up? Why the avoidance?"

I shrugged. He shoved me lightly. "Come on, we all know something's up. What is it?"

"I don't know anymore."

"Look, I know my brother is an idiot. But he's a man, you'll have to forgive him."

I looked at Emmett and felt the tears coming on. "Why did you set him up with Amber? Huh?"

Emmett was momentarily bewildered. "What? Is that what this is all about? Amber?"

I glared at him and after a moment understanding spread across his face. "Ohhh, Bella, I had no idea!"

I shot daggers at him once more and he put his hands up by his shoulders in surrender. "I set them up because…well, I noticed Edward was unhappy. All he does when you're not over is mope around the house. He needs to get out of the house. Meeting and enjoying new people would be good for him."

I was definitely going to cry. Emmett put an arm around my shoulders. "I swear I wouldn't have done it if I had known you'd feel like this…"

I stood up and walked toward the staircase. "I think you'd better leave, Em."

He sighed. "All right, but know that Alice is coming over to kidnap you in half an hour. Apparently, your wardrobe is completely unsatisfactory when it comes to things to wear to a party."

I had completely forgotten about Mike Newton's party. "I am not going to the party. I'll just depress everyone there."

Emmett rolled his eyes. "All right I'm sure Alice will understand perfectly." 

And then we both started laughing at the sheer impossibility of Alice's tenacity wearing off. "I'll be ready in half an hour."

And sure enough, thirty minutes, to the second almost, Alice was knocking on my front door. I slumped toward it, not feeling up to shopping of any kind. Alice was practically bouncing in her place. "Oh, Bella! We need to get you something to wear for tonight!"

I sighed and pulled out my German army style jacket. I really do hate the rain, and stupid little pixie's who drag me out in it to go find an outfit for a party I don't even really want to go to. "So, Emmett tells me you have the hots for my dear brother.'

I looked at her incredulously. "What? I never said that!"

"Quite denying it. It explains your actions perfectly. So, I'm thinking we need to spice you up for tonight."

I rolled my eyes as Alice sped off. "Really, Alice, I don't want to go."

"Of course you do. Edward and Amber are going to be there and you really need to stop that weird little doll from stealing him away. She's way too perky. I miss your sarcasm and depressed mannerisms."

"Gee, thanks Alice."

"No, I'm serious. Amber and Edward spend way too much time together. I think my brother is using her as a way to forget about you."

I snorted. "Well, he certainly calls me enough to let me know he hasn't forgotten."

"Bella, lighten up. He loves you. I told you. I know you two are going to end up together."

I looked at her incredulously. "You've lost it completely. He loves Amber. Not me."

"Wrong again, Bella. Just think about it, and I'm sure you'll see."

I furrowed my brow and thought about the time I spent alone with Edward. The way he touched me. The way he smiled an upturned smile only for me. The way I often caught him staring at me in class, and then trying to make me laugh when he finally caught my attention. The way he snuck through my window. Not any of his sibling's windows, but mine. The looks he had had whenever someone mentioned Amber now made sense. Edward was in love with me. 

And I was in love with him. He was like my oxygen. My savior. He saved me when I needed saving. From the horrible people I went to school with, from Charlie's indifference, from my depression. I needed him more than I needed life itself. He was my life. Oh my God…I'm in love with Edward Cullen.

What an epiphany.

I looked at Alice, a look of horror on my face. "When did this happen?" I asked.

She laughed. "I'd say the moment you came out of the womb and your mother brought you over to our house."

Was she right? Had I always loved him? I shook my head. No. I had always viewed him as my brother. We were mischievous little brats, partners-in-crime. Until my mother died, Edward was my brother in every metaphorical sense. But after that night, he had become more to me than that. He had become my first love. I was so inexperienced I couldn't even realize it. I hadn't even realized that the pain I had been feeling lately was pure jealousy.

Oh my God. We're in love. I couldn't get over it. I wished I could tell him. I looked at Alice, who smiled knowingly. "Told ya so. So, what about a miniskirt, huh?"

That snapped me out of my clouded daydream. "Absolutely not. I'm going to remain myself, thank you."

Alice pouted and whispered something that sounded oddly like, "We'll see about that."

Shopping with Alice as never fun for me. When it came to school shopping, I had always gone with Edward and Emmett instead. Edward always picked out the best band tees…he even picked out the more girly shirts that were still my style. But Alice. Ho, could she find the clothing that would make me look like a streetwalker. She dragged me into some store that had absolutely no black articles of clothing anywhere and skirts that wouldn't cover my butt cheeks if I wanted them to. "Alice, I'm going to Mike Newton's party. Not joining the local strip joint."

Alice just said "Hush!" and continued to pile clothing into my outstretched arms. She held up a brilliant red shirt and then shook her head. "You're too pale for that."

Finally, she rushed me to the fitting room, where I struggled into her first death trap. It was a shirt that had far too many straps and holes. I came out, and she laughed aloud. "Bella, you're head goes through this hole!"

I blushed, infuriated, and began ripping it off. "Whatever. Why don't you just give me something that closely resembles clothing."

She handed me a blue shirt and smiled. "This one is sure to make you look amazing."

I tried it on, and then frowned. It made me look way to girly. My boobs were popping out, for crying out loud. I opened the door and Alice's eyes widened. "You look so amazing!"

I shook my head. "No, it's not me. I look like trash."

"You look like a girl on a mission."

I walked out of the fitting room, wearing my Beatles t-shirt and tossed the rest of Alice's clothing into her arms. "I'll meet you in the food court when you're found something for yourself."

With that I stormed away, leaving Alice dumbstruck. I walked slowly toward the elevators, looking in the windows around me. The girls inside were all excited about their finds, and yet, I stood outside thinking, "What little sheep." They all looked identical, all bought identical clothing. I passed a totally unappealing window, when the mannequin on the end caught my eye. Or, more specifically, the shirt she wore caught my eye. I was a short sleeved turtle neck, with a small triangle space in the middle, covered with lace. It would allow my boobs to show, though the lacy part would hide them. Plus, it was black, and still my dark style.

I went into the store and immediately bought one, without even bothering to try it on. I thought Alice would be pleased with my find and my spontaneity. I had some jeans at home, my favorites with the natural hole in the knee, that would go nicely. I could still be me, without really being me.

I met Alice in front of the pizza place, and she looked miffed. "Can you please explain to me why you ran off when I was trying to help you?"

She shut her mouth automatically when I pulled out the shirt I had found. She narrowed her eyes. "You picked this out yourself?"

I nodded, satisfied. "Yep, sure did."

Alice scrutinized it before smiling. "Maybe I am finally starting to rub off on you. They didn't have any other colors though? I mean, black?"

I shrugged. "Black is my thing. I'm not perky enough for pastels."

Alice laughed and nodded in agreement. "What are you planning on wearing for a bottom?"

"My ripped jeans."

She didn't approve of this, I could tell. But I held up a hand. "Lets go. I can feel my I.Q. dropping," I said, watching some air headed girls walk past us.

We arrived at her house and she immediately set to work. "Take off your clothing."

"What?" I asked.

"I have to put make up on you. I don't want it to get on that shirt."

I sighed and complied with her request, stripping down to my bra. She started messing with my infamously plain hair and finally sighed. "You really should let Esme cut your hair."

I bit my lip. Esme had done salon work when we were younger, but gave it up when the salon she worked at burned down. "Well… I don't want it to be too…girly."

Alice practically squealed. "MOM!"

Esme came running into the room. "What's the matter, who's hurt?" she asked frantically searching us for any sign of a scratch or broken bone.

"Mom, will you cut Bella's hair? Please?" 

Esme checked her watch. "Well, I kind of have to go--"

"We have a very important party to go to tonight. And Bella needs to look her best."

Esme sighed. "What do you want me to do to it?"

I opened my mouth but Alice was quicker. "Just put a few layers in it. It's rather flat."

All right. Quickly, sit down. I'm already late."

She began to squirt water on my head. I was turned away from the mirror and could not see what she was doing to it. Finally, after a few short minutes, she was done and I was able to look. She had stayed simple, just a few layers, and yet, it held enough body to make me look a little better. "Thank you Esme. Sorry about making you late."

Esme left and Alice pulled out a curling iron that was as big around as my calf. "Here, we'll add a little curl to it."

I groaned but she didn't seem to notice. She prodded and poked at my hair until my head hurt and then, on top of giving me a migraine, refused to let me see when she was done. She put me into a chair in the middle of her closet and pulled out a box. She laid a variety of eyeshadows out and said, "Which color would you like?"

I looked at them, all too bright or too light. "Do you have anything darker?" I asked.

Alice frowned, unhappy that her attempt to put some color on me hadn't worked. She tapped her chin. "I know," and she disappeared into the hall bathroom. When she returned, she had a small container of a dark purplish maroon eyeshadow that sparkled ever so lightly. "This one would go great. We'll ive you bedroom eyes."

"Bedroom eyes?" I asked, scared about what she was going to do.

When she was done putting on so much shadow I thought I would look like I had a black eye, she began applying eyeliner. And then mascara. "There," she said, satisfied with her work. "Put this on, and come out."

She handed me my shirt and left the closet. I sat back down and sighed. What was I getting myself into? With my luck, she probably made me look like some hooker on the streets. I put my shirt on and then slipped on my favorite jeans.

When I walked out, Alice's eyes grew wide and she smiled a wicked smile. "You look so good!"

I ran to her mirror and looked at myself. She had transformed me from a plain Jane into someone I didn't even recognize. I wouldn't look out of place at an underground rock club, and that made me happy. She had stuck with my whole 'still want to be myself in the end' spiel. She smiled widely and pulled at the curls in my hair, which she began brushing into light waves. "Edward is going to die!"

I smiled despite my self. "Thank you, Alice!"

"No problem. Now, you wait here, I'll be right out."

"I'll be right out really meant I should find something around her room to occupy my time because she was not going to be out anytime soon. Edward knocked on the door. "Hey, we're almost ready to leave! Are you guys coming?"

This got Alice out of her bathroom. She was clasping a hoop earring when she called, "We'll meet you there!"

She once again entered her closet. "Can I interest you in some kitten heels?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, thanks. I think my Converses will suffice."

She sighed. "Ah, well, it was worth a try."

She came out, hopping on one foot as she put a heeled shoe on the other. "Let's go."

She slipped on her sweater and I pulled on my suit jacket, the one with the Led Zeppelin Swansong patch on the sleeve. It was at least a feminine suit coat jacket, that hugged me in all the right places, according to her. So she had no complaints. 

She drove at her usual psychotic speed to Mike's house and parked next to Edward's old Volvo. "Now, remember, Bella. Try to be a little vixen. Flirt with someone in front of Edward if you have to."

I shuddered. "I think I'll just go hang out by the stereo and play with the music."

Alice gave me a look. "I don't think so. You're going to dance and be happy. And you'll like it."

Who died and made her head Nazi? I clicked my heels, "Yes, meine Führerin!"

She glared at me, clearly not appreciating my humor. "Just don't act out, please."

We entered the house and I sighed. It reeked of alcohol and pot. Ah, high school parties. I walked to the punch bowl, which I was sure was spiked with something strong, and poured myself a cup. I might as well enjoy myself. There was a fast tempoed song on and everyone was dancing. Or, what I could guess was dancing. It just looked like a lot of grinding and sex while fully clothed. I watched those around me with mild amusement until I saw Edward. Dancing with her. They formed together so perfectly, it made my heart ache. She was rubbing her butt against him in a not-so-saintly way, his hands on her hips. I might possibly throw up.

**EPOV**

Where was Bella? I had been looking for her all night long! Alice had said something about a make over. I knew Bella hated those, and was quite eager to see what she had let Alice get by with. I was dancing with Amber, which actually was quite a turn on, despite the fact that I wanted nothing to do with her and everything to do with Bella…

I kept sweeping the crowd, when finally I saw her. My Bella. She was standing next to the table, looking awkward and out of place as she moved her head a little to the beat. But more importantly, she looked absolutely gorgeous. Alice had forced her into some conservative, yet still sexy black top, though Bella wore her jacket. I loved that jacket, in fact I had sewn the patch on the sleeve. She still looked like herself, but a revamped version. I wanted to get to her. Unfortunately, Amber was grinding in a completely unholy way and I couldn't tear myself away. 

And so, I watched in silent horror as Mike Newton asked _my_ Bella to dance.

**BPOV**

"Would you like to dance, Bella?" I heard Mike ask me. I was watching as Edward saw me, and refused to acknowledge the fact that he saw me.

I turned to him and gave him my most stunning smile. "Sure, I'd love to, Mike."

So, Mike led me by the hand to a spot on the outer ring of people and grabbed my hips. _'Flirt with other people if you have to!'_ I heard Alice's voice in my head. I smiled up at Mike and scooted closer to him. I watched the girls around me dancing and tried to copy their moves, without the full effect. I still wanted to remain the quiet, shy girl, not some grinding hussy.

I turned around and pulled my hair up, trying to be seductive and trying my hardest to pretend I did not notice Edward watching my every move.

**EPOV**

Oh my God. The way Bella was moving against Mike Newton made me want to march over there and tear his head off. What a disgusting little horndog! He was touching her, in places I only dreamed of touching that way. I watched as his hands slid over her lower back and hips, grazing over her butt. 

Jealousy flared inside me, and I wanted to kill that stupid little dog. He was a dog! I was going to kill him. That was final. I was going to have to lure him outside and kill him. At his own party too. What a pity.

"FIGHT!" I heard someone scream, and the whole mass of people ran through the double doors onto Mike's patio.

I saw him break through the crowd of people, Bella on his tail, and then she clasped a hand over her mouth. Emmett was on top of some small guy, punching his face. I ran to him and pulled him off, Jasper helping. 

Emmett's nose was bleeding, but he was virtually unscathed otherwise. The same could not be said for the other guy, whose injuries looked as though they could be serious. "Emmett what were you thinking?"

"He…tried…Rosalie…" it was clear to me that Emmett had had way too much of the spiked drink.

"Emmett you need to go home," I told him sternly.

He tried to get up onto his feet, but slipped and fell backward into the pool. He emerged, laughing joyously, and the same person who had shouted before screamed, "POOL PARTY!"

I truly felt sorry for Newton's neighbors for having to deal with a hundred drunk, horny teenagers in a pool…

I felt Amber's hand on my arm. "Why don't we go upstairs. And talk," she said, a little more suggestively than necessary. I glanced over to where Mike was fiddling with one of Bella's curls and she was looking worriedly toward Emmett.

I nodded. "All right. We can go and…talk."

**BPOV**

I saw Amber gesture to Edward toward the upstairs, and she gave him a sickeningly sweet little smile. He glanced my way, only briefly and then nodded. She led him by the hand into the house, to where I knew they'd go upstairs. I could feel every inch of me wanting to burst into flame. I was going to have to kill Amber. Pity I'd have to ruin Mike's party.

Mike took hold of my face when I was watching Amber drag Edward away, and then leaned up to kiss me. I was taken by surprise at first, and tried to push him away. He backed off, but looked hurt. Alice fluttered past me, giving me a wink. And then I looked at Mike and said, "Can we go somewhere a little more private?"

He smiled and took my hand, leading me around the pool and out into the backyard. He led me to a swing and we sat down. I was nervous as hell, and my heart was pounding in my ears. I was about to do something I knew I would end up regretting after it was over. I took Mike's face and I kissed him, hard on the mouth. I heard him groan and then he tried to pull me closer, fill a nonexistent gap between us. How I wished this were Edward.

Edward. My mind was creating all kinds of scenarios as to what Edward could be upstairs doing with the blond idiot.

**EPOV**

Amber was kissing me fiercely and I responded, with only mild enthusiasm. My mind kept wandering back to Bella. I wondered what she and Mike were doing now.

Amber was trying to unbutton my shirt before I realized what she was actually doing. I grabbed her hands to stop her and broke the kiss. "I don't think we should be doing this."

"Why not?" she asked, looking more than a little crestfallen.

I was incredulous. "Do you honestly think it's an appropriate situation at a time like this?"

"A time like what? No one's coming up here."

"I meant just…during some trashy high school party. Don't you think we should wait until the time id right and you know…special," I was blushing at how effeminate that last part was.

She rolled her eyes and got off the bed. "I'm going to go find Angela to take me home."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…hurt your feelings," I said, trying to make amends. I didn't want to enter my first fight. 

"it's fine. I just think I'm a little…" she said. 

"Drunk?" I offered.

She giggled. "Yeah. I think that punch might have had a little something extra."

"Amber, you didn't strike me as the type of person who would be like this."

"Edward, just because I help needy children and neglected animals, doesn't mean I'm some kind of angel."

"I guess not."

Then she left me. I decided that was officially the weirdest moment of my life.

I followed her down, but she was no where to be found. She must have found Angela after all. I went to go find Bella and that's when I saw her. She was sitting in Mike Newton's lap, their lips locked. I felt like I was going to implode in on myself. The weight of the world came crashing down on me and I felt like I couldn't breath.

I ran to my car, not stopping when Alice asked me what was wrong. I had to get away. Or my anger would get the best of me. How dare he? How dare he touch my Bella. He was tainting her beautiful personality with those poisonous lips. 

**BPOV**

I was completely engulfed in this kiss. It wasn't magical or anything. It was fueled only by teenage hormones, and nothing more. I longed to do this with Edward, for I knew that if I could it would be fueled by love. I was jerked into reality by Alice screaming my name shrilly. "What did you do to my brother?" she demanded.

"Nothing," I replied defensively.

"Right. That's why he was just running to his car, mumbling your name, right?" she said.

"He what? I was here the whole time."

Alice looked at me. "What are you doing, Bella?"

"What you told me to do. Flirting with other people if I had to."

"Yes, flirt. Not eat their face off. My brother is really upset. I think you need to talk to him," she said.

I jumped up and began storming away. "You know what Alice?" I said turning to face her. "I don't think I will. He went upstairs with her, Alice. Upstairs." And the tears came once more.

Alice's face fell. "Oh," she ran to hug me. Mike looked at us like we were insane and stumbled off.

"I want to go home, Alice," I said, sobbing fully now.

She nodded and wiped my mascara off my cheeks. "I'll take you home. Let me go find Jasper."

I waited in her car until she and Jasper came and we drove home in silence. I got out of her car at the garage. "You really should talk to my brother, Bella. He deserves to know how you feel."

I, like the coward I am, walked to my house without another word.

O.O.O.O

Ah, another update. Twice in one day. Impressive for me. Please review. Nothing strokes the ego more than a kind review… Oh, and I promise Amber will be out of the picture soon enough.

\/p


	6. Chapter 5:Seeking Solace & Finding Love

**A/N: **Wow! You guys and your reviews are completely awesome! See, when I get tons of reviews, makes me want to update a lot.

Chapter 5: Seeking Solace and Finding Love

When I walked through my front door, I was pouring tears. I had really made a mess of things with Edward. I had let my jealousy and want to make him jealous get the better of me. I had completely ruined our friendship. I ignored him, I pushed him away, I treated him like crap because he moved on and got a girlfriend. What a great friend I am.

Charlie was sitting at the kitchen table when I got in. It was unusual these days because he usually hid out in his room after dinner. Instead, I walked into the kitchen to find Charlie, his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking. I rushed to him, slightly apprehensive. "Charlie, what's the matter?" I asked, standing next to him.

He looked up at me, and he looked ready to spit fire. "You don't even have the respect for me anymore to call me 'dad'? You've just taken it upon yourself to call me by my name?" he said.

I shook my head. "it slipped out. Honestly."

He shook his head. "Disrespectful little brat. Ever since your mother died."

"Dad, I didn't mean it, really."

His eyes slipped over my clothing. "What in hell are you wearing, girl?"

I closed the sides of my jacket. "It's just a shirt. It's not even revealing!"

"Not revealing! You look like a slut! Look at all that makeup! Where have you been?" he shouted.

Great, the first time I've seriously spoken to Charlie in weeks and he's ragging on me about my clothing. I sighed. "I went to a party."

His eyes widened and he looked like he may explode. "A party? With who?" he demanded, getting up and stumbling slightly.

Great, the first time I've seriously spoken to Charlie in weeks and he's ragging on me _and_ he's drunk and hysterical. "With some friends."

"Don't lie. You were with the Cullen boy!" he shouted.

I shook my head. "He's just a friend," I said, a little too much bitter sadness seeping out.

Charlie grabbed my upper arm. My own eyes grew wide. He had never laid a single hand on me, ever, in my seventeen years of existence. His eyes had gotten wild looking. "Don't lie to me, Renee! I know what's going on in my own house!"

I was bewildered. "Renee? It's me, Bella. Renee died. Five years ago!"

Charlie's grew soft. "Oh, Renee…"

I couldn't believe the scene that was unfolding in front of my eyes. My father was finally having a mental breakdown. He began crying, sobbing more like. "Renee, Renee, Renee…"

"Dad, she's gone," I said, growing more scared by the second.

I moved to touch his shoulder and he shrugged it off. "I miss her, too, you know. And you won't even talk--"

"Get off of me!" he said, flinging me from his side with just enough force, accidentally shoving his elbow in my face.

I tripped backward over my own feet and hit the edge of the counter, before slinking to the ground. I looked at him, a mix of sadness, hurt, and disbelief on my face. I could taste the blood from my lip and sharp pains were shooting up my spine. Charlie put a hand over his mouth, horrified. "Oh my God, Bella. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

He made to step to me and I shrunk away. "Please don't come near me."

He was still sobbing. "Bells, I just meant to shove you off from me. I didn't mean to."

I got up, rubbing my lower back and stared at him. He shook his head. "I didn't mean it. I swear. I would never hurt you."

I nodded. "I know," I said as I ran out the front door.

I saw Edward's light on and his silhouette as he paced back and forth in his room. I ran to the trellis and climbed quickly. 

What was I doing? Why would he agree to see me after the way I treated him? My mind was not thinking clearly as I wept uncontrollably. I pounded on his window loudly, probably waking anyone who was still awake inside the Cullen house. He rushed to the window and shoved it up. "Bella, what the hell--"

"Ed-ward," my voice cracked.

His face grew concerned and he helped pull me through the window. I collapsed into his arms and he protectively wrapped his own around me. "Bella, what happened. Why are you crying?" he asked, stroking my hair.

"Charlie. He lost it."

Edward pulled back. "Did he hit you?" he asked, finally examining my face, my bleeding lip.

I shook my head. "He shoved me away and I tripped. Edward, he was so angry with me. I've never seen him like that."

"Why did he shove you away. What kind of father does that?" he asked, outraged.

"He was upset about my mom. He must have seen something that reminded him of her while he was out today. I should have known better than to try to get him to talk about it."

Edward rubbed his hands soothingly over my back and made comforting noises. We listened as Charlie's cruiser pulled away. He sighed loudly, ruffling my hair slightly. "Bella, this is unacceptable."

"He was angry. He didn't even mean it. I tripped."

He pulled away from me and touched my lip gingerly. "It doesn't matter. He left a mark, Bella. For the world to see."

My lips wasn't even swelling. It just had a split in it at one corner. I shook my head and looked at the ground. "Edward, I don't want to talk about it. Just…hold me for now. Like you used to do."

Edward complied and led me to his bed, where I sat next to him, his arms wrapped around me. He began humming my lullaby, the one he had written for me that infamous day he agreed to go out with Amber. I felt his nose in my hair, felt his breath tickle my scalp. "I've missed you, Bella," he whispered, barely audible.

I clenched my eyes closed. "I'm sorry, Edward. So sorry. I've been treating you horribly for the last few weeks. I know you must hate me for it."

Edward lifted my chin, so he could look at me. "No, Bella. I've worried about you. Never, not for even one second could I ever hate you. Quite the opposite actually," he gave a nervous laugh here.

I wrinkled my brow at him. "What?"

He looked into my eyes, his green ones burning into mine fiercely. "I…I love you, Bella."

I pushed away from him and looked at the crooked leg of his nightstand. "Don't, Edward."

He sounded hurt and offended when he spoke. "Don't what, Bella?"

"Don't feel obligated to tell me these things because Alice told you something that was probably only half true."

I could practically hear him fuming. "Bella, do you think for an instant that I am doing this because I feel obligated?"

I looked up at him. Yep, he was definitely fuming and hurt. I tried to feign anger. "Why are you telling me then?"

He moved to sit next to me once more. "Because, I honestly, truly, with every ounce of my being, love you."

I looked into his eyes at last and saw only a genuine love and determination for me to understand. I knew right at that moment that my earlier epiphany was correct. He loved me. I began to cry and he looked mortified. "Why are you crying?" he asked as gently as he could through his shock that I was once again weeping.

"I've really messed things up between us. I've been the biggest bitch, and here you are, forgiving and understanding as usual. Why can't you just yell at me and tell me I'm a horrible person?"

He touched my face softly. "Because those things aren't true. I haven't exactly been so great to you lately either. I've let my newfound relationship with Amber get in the way of that which is most important to me: _our _relationship."

I smiled weakly. "I love you, Edward Cullen."

He smiled widely now and leaned in to kiss me. I closed my eyes automatically. His lips pressed sweetly, tenderly against mine. I felt my tears running over my lip, but he didn't even seem to notice. He moved his hand from my face to my neck, careful. Always careful. Like I was fragile and would break. I responded to the kiss and he let his tongue glide over my lower lip, tasting, searching, asking. I opened my mouth to allow him entrance and he delved in eagerly, yet still slowly and passionately.

I allowed my hands to roam over his chest, satisfied to know that he was a little built under the thin shirt he wore. I moved them, ever so slowly, to his neck, knotted them in the tuft of hair at the back of his neck. He moaned slightly and my eyes shot open and I pulled away.

"Edward…Amber," I said.

He looked down, dissatisfied. "Bella. I don't care about her. I never really did, quite honestly."

"But you went upstairs with her at Mike's," I said, a painful stab at my heart came with the memory.

He grinned his sideways grin. "You saw that, eh?"

I nodded, irritated by his smirking. He put his hand on my thigh, in a way he had five hundred other times before. "I can assure you, nothing at all happened."

I looked at him, not sure whether to believe him. He looked offended. "Have I ever lied to you before?" he asked fairly.

And the answer was no, of course. So I took his word and was secretly satisfied. I leaned back to him, kissing his cheek lightly. He turned his face and once again captured my lips. I didn't fight back, forgetting that he had a girlfriend at all. All I could focus on was that I loved him, he loved me, and he was touching me.

He slid a hand down to my waist, a place I had longed for him to touch for so long. He rested it right at the grove above the hip and his other hand was shoved into my still curled hair. I leaned in eagerly, one hand on his thigh, one on his chest. He dragged his lips lovingly across my jaw and down to the hollow spot behind my ear. He lifted away slightly and his warm breath tickled and sent shivers up my spine. "I love you I love you. I love you."

His sweet saying made me smile. He kissed the spot and then he pulled away. "Let's lay down, now. It's getting late."

I had to hand it to him. The boy had impeccable self control.

**EPOV**

All my mind could shout at me was _You're kissing her! She loves you! She's touching you!_

I kissed across her jaw, and I heard her breath hitch momentarily before she sighed sweetly. I stopped when I reached her ear. All I could think of to say was "I love you." And so, I repeated it many times, trying to make up for all of the time I've lost being a jackass.

Her body was still a little shaky, whether from Charlie's rash anger or the close proximity our bodies were in, I didn't know.

Charlie. I wanted to kill him. Bella said it was an accident. That she had tripped, which really wasn't so unbelievable, and so I believed her. But I still wanted to murder him. He had left a cut on my beautiful Bella's face, whether by accident or purpose, it didn't matter to me.

I sighed and then pulled away from her. My body was screaming for more. It was aching for more. And so I knew it was time to stop before I got out of hand. We had to take it slow. We had to make this work. "Let's lay down, now. It's getting late," I said, extremely reluctant to take my lips away from her skin.

She looked dejected and laid back against the pillow that was reserved specifically for her. She looked like a broken angel. She was my angel, and I was going to do everything in my power to fix her.

**BPOV**

I laid down and Edward laid behind me. It was the first night I had spent in his bed where I was aware that I was in love with him. He kissed my shoulders, light butterfly kisses that would surely drive me mad. His arm was wrapped around me, and I felt him pull me closer against him. He relentlessly kissed my shoulders and arms, rubbing his hand over my arm and side. I smiled widely. 

This is the way I wished to remain with Edward forever. Him caressing my skin and kissing me sweetly as I laid in his strong, protective arms.

O.O.O.O

Okay. Short. To the point. I didn't want to make Charlie abusive. I hate those stories, so it really was an accident, an ignorance of his own strength you could say. 

I'll try to update as quickly as I can. But you have to remember, I am a high school senior, in AP classes, preparing for college. Ninety percent of my time these days in spent filling out scholarships and writing essays and studying for tests. So be patient this next week.

Please review, my lovelies. They make me incredibly happy.


	7. Chapter 6: Knowing

A/N: You guys are still amazing. I absolutely hated that last chapter, so I'm happy I could make you all happy.

Chapter 6: Knowing

I woke up the next morning to the most unpleasant situation. I am serious, I haven't hated waking up that bad in a long time. But, after hearing Amber's screech, I had no other choice.

Amber came bounding through the door at around nine. "Edward, you're mother said you were still--" she was cut short when Edward shot up. I was in the bed beside him, and he was apparently trying to hide me, though it was an unsuccessful attempt. 

"What is she doing here!" she yelled, pointing an accusing finger at me.

I rolled over and sat up. "Wha--What? I asked with a yawn.

"Edward! How could you!" she said angrily.

I put on my most repentant look. "Amber, I'm sorry, really. It's seriously is not what it looks like."

"I came up here to apologize for my actions last night, and here I find you with her!" Amber looked hurt and I suddenly felt sorry. Losing Edward was going to be difficult for her.

Edward jumped up and chased after her, I could hear his pounding footsteps on the stairs. "Amber, please. Let me explain!"

I heard two slams of the front door. I got up and tried to make my way to Edward's bathroom, but my back was sore from last night. It took me a little longer than it normally would to bend over the sink and wash my face. I lifted my shirt and examined Charlie's damage. I had purple bruises over the lower part of my back where I had hit the edge of the counter. I knew I could never let Edward see those bruises.

I pulled on one of his hoodies from his closet and sat on his bed. I curled my legs up and tucked them under the hoodie, resting my head on my knees. Finally, he came back into the room and his face was sour. "Edward," I began. "I am so…sorry. I didn't mean to get you in trouble with your girlfriend."

I rose to walk to him. He was pinching the bridge of his nose and looked weary. "Don't apologize, Bella. You did nothing wrong. You came to me when you needed me. I am your best friend and Amber will just have to learn to accept that."

I could feel my face contort into a look of confusion. "You guys aren't over then?" I asked, feeling heartbroken.

He shook his head slowly. "Not yet. I…don't know how to end it with her. I've never had to break up with anyone."

I was angry all of a sudden. "You just do it. You look right at her pretty little face and say, "Amber. I hate you. You are entirely too irritatingly perfect. We're over!"

He looked at me with an amused look of incredulity. "Bella, she's a nice girl. I can't just hurt her like that."

"No, you'll just continue to hurt me instead!" I said, turning to climb out his window.

He grabbed my arm, stopping me from climbing out. He put a finger under my chin and forced me to look up at him. His face looked pained, but I couldn't bring myself to apologize. He was hurting me to save some girl he's known for a month. "Bella. I don't mean to hurt you. I'm-I'm trying to figure how to end it. I just…I'll do it tonight, when I go to her house."

I knew I was going to start crying. "Don't tell me that and then go over there and chicken out!"

"I won't," he promised. "I'll ask Emmett what to do, he'll know."

I nodded looking past him at an Iron Maiden poster on the wall behind him. He put his hands on my shoulders and I brought my eyes to his. "I didn't lie to you last night, Bella. I love you."

I nodded once more, but said nothing. I knew he was waiting for me to return the sentiment. He sighed when I said nothing and turned around. He walked to his closet to find things to wear while I stayed glued to my spot. He came out wearing nothing but his boxer briefs and I gulped, looking pointedly away. He went into his bathroom and shut the door saying, "You can go get some breakfast. I'll meet you in ten."

I went downstairs when I heard his shower turn on. There was no reason for me to be in here while he was showering, even though I had a thousand times before. Before, however, I wasn't hyperaware that I enjoyed his looks as much as I clearly do. And still, he took no notice to the fact that his half nakedness affected me nowadays. 

Emmett and Alice were in the kitchen when I got down there. Emmett had a box of cereal in one hand, held way above Alice's head, his other hand on her forehead, pushing her away. She was trying desperately to reach it and then stopped and stomped her foot. "Emmett, just give me the box!" she shouted.

The whole situation was highly comical and I leaned against the door frame and watched in unfold. Alice kicked Emmett in the shin and then reached down to grab her toe. Emmett let out a booming laugh. Alice hopped up and tried to get the cereal once more. "Morning, Bella," he said joyously.

Alice spun around and smiled widely, the box of cereal forgotten. "You wouldn't happen to know why my brother was in his pj's chasing that foul Barbie down the driveway this morning would you?"

I laughed. "Not the slightest clue."

Emmett set the box of cereal on the cabinet beside Alice and she scooped it up. "About time, you jerk."

He laughed again and took his seat at the table. Alice continued to talk about the morning's incident as she poured herself some food. "She was running away and crying. It was marvelous-you shoulda seen it."

"She didn't need to see it," Emmett said knowingly. "She caused it."

I looked at him, my eyes bulging out of my head. "What are you talking about?"

He scoffed. "Oh, come off it. You've been sneaking through his window for years."

Alice's face lit up and her jaw dropped. She rounded on her brother. "Really? Since when?"

"I've known for three years," he said.

Alice looked at me. "Is it true?"

I looked at the floor, a blush creeping across my neck like wildfire. "Yes. Five years."

Alice looked ecstatic before the understanding came. "Since your mom died?"

I nodded and she put a hand on my shoulder. "Oh, Bella. How come none of us ever knew?"

"It wasn't anyone's business, but mine and Edward's."

Alice looked hurt for a moment before she turned to Emmett. "How did you know, then?"

He shrugged. "Walked in on them a few times when they were asleep."

"How come _you_ never told me?" the small pixie asked him accusingly.

He rolled his eyes. "Like she said, it wasn't anyone's business."

"So how is anyone's business now? You have no problem sharing it now!" I said to him angrily.

"Hey, you guys could be up there getting' it on, now that you've finally discovered that you are, indeed, of the opposite sex. Thought it proper to warn everyone."

My mouth dropped open and I punched his arm. "Shut up! Don't ever repeat that!"

He laughed and continued to read the sports page of the newspaper. I sat down, offended and ashamed that Edward's siblings now knew our business. Edward came down a few minutes later, whistling happily. "What are you so happy about, Cullen?" I asked, still miffed.

He shrugged, grabbing a bowl from the cabinet. "I had an excellent night."

At that, Alice and Emmett burst into laughter and I tried to hide my face, which closely resembled a tomato at this point. Edward looked at them and shook his head. "You two are a regular freak show," he said.

He came and sat next to me, brushing along my back as he did so. Alice had one amused eyebrow raised and so, I kicked her, right in the shin. She grabbed her leg and put on a ask of pure innocence. "What was that for?"

I smiled just as innocently, though there was a seething irritation in my smile. "What are you talking about?"

Edward looked over at me before Alice opened her mouth. "So, what are we going to do today, Bella?"

"Bella, bo Bella, fe fi fo, Bella, Bella!" Emmett sang under his breath. He really was odd sometimes.

I ignored his stupid attempts at making me laugh and turned to the bronze haired Cullen. "I don't know. Don't you have some business to attend to this evening?" I asked him, severely hinting at his trip to Amber's.

His face fell as his siblings looked at him. "Sure. But I've still got a few hours to go until then."

"We could just hang out upstairs. I've finally mastered 'Stairway.' Thought we might try some B.B King stuff."

He laughed. "I don't think you're ready for that quite yet," he said, laughing happily.

"Oh you don't do you?" I asked him daringly. 

He shook his head. "Nah. That's some fancy finger work there. Since Stairway gave you such a hard time, maybe we can try something easier. Maybe some Cheap Trick."

I glared at him playfully. "Fine then. But I pick the song."

Edward smiled brightly. "Of course."

He ate and I sat back and relaxed in the wooden chair, watching his family. It had always struck me how natural this family was. They laughed and teased and had a good time being in each other's company. Since my mother had died, there hadn't been a single incident of laughter in my house. Before that, when she was alive, we had been happy too. Charlie and Renee was considering having another child.

"Let's go. Emmett's on my nerves," Edward said.

"Hey!" Emmett said defensively, swinging to hit Edward in the arm. Edward ducked out of the way and grabbed my hand, running out of the room and up the stairs.

"Ugh, my family," he said once he had locked his bedroom door to sibling proof it.

"I was actually thinking about how much I liked you guys. You're so normal."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Yeah. So, do you really want a guitar lesson?"

I shook my head. "Not right now. But I do want you to play for me."

His eyes lit up. "I finished our song!" he said happily and walked to his piano. I sat on the bench next to him and he began to play my lullaby. I closed my eyes as I listened to the melancholic beauty of our lives. I rested my head on his shoulder and he kissed the top of my head. The song was so achingly beautiful, I was unhappy when it ended. "That was gorgeous, Edward."

He smiled. "I thought you'd like it. I had even incorporated our little spat these last few weeks. That chaotic, messy part at the end, before the smooth ending," he said.

I smiled now. "I love it."

"I love you," he whispered into my ear before kissing my cheek.

I leaned back and pushed him away. "How many time are you going to tell me?" I asked, entirely enthralled with the simple statement.

He grinned devilishly. "Until I make up for never saying it before."

I laughed. "You're incredible."

"I know," he said arrogantly.

I pushed him again and he narrowed his eyes. "That's it, Bella. You've pushed me one time too many."

And he picked me up and carried me to his bed, where he plopped me down and proceeded to straddle my thighs. My breathing stopped momentarily, as did my heart. He held my hands up above my head and then proceeded to tickle me relentlessly with his other. I laughed and squirmed, ignoring the sharp pain in my back. He looked pleased with himself and let go of my hands. He tried to get off of me, but I grabbed his shirt in my fists and brought him back down. He looked surprised but I didn't care. "Don't you dare get up, Cullen."

He smiled wickedly, a mischievous smile that he used to get when we used to destroy his mother house as children. "Or what?" he asked.

"I'll be forced to hurt you," I said before kissing him hard on the lips. 

I could feel him smile before he responded. He carefully held his weight above me as he kissed me vigorously. I wrapped my arms around his neck and knotted my fingers into his hair. He allowed one of his hands to travel the length of my side, while the other stayed on my thigh.

All too soon I felt him pull away and we were both breathing shallowly. "Bella," he breathed into my neck before splaying small kissed across my skin. I wiggled beneath him and he groaned, liking my neck lightly. I moved again, trying to make him aware of every inch of my body. He stopped kissing me and leaned to my ear. "You're going to be the death of me, woman."

I laughed throatily and pushed him away. "Get off me, then."

"Not a chance," he replied before kissing me once more. 

This really was becoming my favorite past time. The feeling of him above me was amazing, and I was aware of every inch of my body that touched his. His lips were gentle, yet forceful at the same time. I honestly can't believe I made it seventeen years of my life without experiencing the gloriousness of his touch.

All too soon, it was time for him to go over to Amber's. While I wanted this moment, so that we could finally be together without feeling the horrible guilt we both felt, I dreaded it as well. What if he couldn't do it? Edward was too sweet a person to intentionally hurt anyone and I couldn't blame him. What if she convinces hi m to stay? I had the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach as Edward got in his Volvo.

I went up to Alice's room, where she was listening to music and laying out clothing. "Can I hang out with you, Alice? Edward's left to see Amber."

"Sure thang. I was just laying out outfits to wear to Jasper's house. I'm meeting his parents tomorrow night," she explained.

I nodded, not really caring. I was too busy thinking about Edward. "So," she broke me from my reverie, "how did you like the make over last night?"

I smiled, thinking of Edward playing with one of my curls. Alice took that as a good sign. "What do you say we do that more often? Even if you insist on wearing those damn grungy clothes, we can still doll your face up a little."

"My clothes are not grungy," I said defensively.

"Isabella, you share t-shirts with my brother. Unisex shirts are not appealing," she reasoned.

I shrugged, never really having felt the need to be appealing. "What do you say?" she asked.

"Fine. A little make up wouldn't hurt."

Alice looked like I had just given her the key to the gates of Heaven. She clasped her hands in front of her. "I knew you'd come around."

"As long as you allow me to stay myself."

"Of course. You still looked like a little grungy, punk rock, vintage rock 'n' roller last night, didn't you? Well, except for the fact that I made you look like a hottie…"

I looked at her and she looked gleeful. She dragged me by the hand into her closet and pulled out a new box of eyeshadows. They were of a dark variety. "My whole 'bedroom eyes' collection," she explained. "Basically shadows that are too dark for me to wear during the day, but look amazing anywhere where it's going to be dark. You, however, like that whole 'I'm depressed and hate the world' look so I think you'll have no problem with these in the daylight."

I rolled my eyes. "Ha ha. I do not hate the world. I just hate most of the people that inhabit it."

She laughed. "Whatever you say. Now, lets find an acceptable shirt."

"What?" I asked. "You never said anything about a shirt."

She pleaded with me using her eyes. "Come on, Bella. Just humor me?"

I sighed and nodded. She looked like Christmas had come early. She walked for the pink area of her color coordinated closet and I said, "Ah uh."

She rolled her eyes and moved to the dark blues, purples, and black. She dug through until she found a purple shirt that was relatively decent. It was made of silk and had a flowy front, which I like. It tied around the neck and looked like it would make me look incredibly girly. "No," I said simply.

"Oh, come on!" she complained. "Just, let me fix you up! You'll love it when I'm done."

"Fine," I said. "But I'm still wearing my jeans and sneakers."

"Why you insist on those grungy ripped jeans and converses is beyond me," she sighed.

"Hush, or I'm leaving," I warned.

She said, "Fine. Here, take your shirt off. I need you to try this on."

My eyes widened. I couldn't let her see the marks on my back. "I think I'll go into the bathroom."

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella. We are both grown women here," she said, grabbing the bottom of Edward's hoodie and pulling it up. 

It wasn't much, but it was enough to reveal the black and blue line across my lower back. She gasped and backed away. "Bella, what happened to your back?" she asked.

I sighed. "It's nothing. Charlie and I had a little tiff and I tripped."

She put a horrified hand over her mouth. "Bella, we need to show Edward."

"Why?" I practically shouted.

"Because, I think he should see what kind of father Charlie is."

"He already knows. That's why I was here last night," I explained, only telling half truths--Edward knew about Charlie's accident, he just didn't know about the bruise on my back.

I gave a weak smile. "Come on. Let's get me into that shirt and into make up before your brother gets home."

Alice nodded, all of her previous happiness faded. "Well, I'll go out here while you change."

I put on Alice's little purple silk boy-magnet and walked out. She smiled slightly. "Very nice," she said as I did a twirl for her.

I sat in front of her vanity mirror and motioned for her to start my face. She was quiet during the process, and I cleared my throat. "Alice, it's not that big of a deal. You need to talk, or I am seriously leaving. I will not sit here in an awkward silence."

Alice frowned, her pretty pixie face saddened. "It's just… I mean, I never suspected…"

"It was an accident. A one time accident, Alice. Let it go."

She did as I said and I smiled. "Now. What color will you be putting on my eyes?"

She put on a grin for my sake and tried to act normal. "A deep purple."

I started humming a Deep Purple song while Alice worked her magic. I told her to take it easy on the eyeliner today, and she complied. When she was done, I looked amazing, if I can say so myself. Edward would love it. Alice began fluffing my hair when we heard the front door slam. Heavy footsteps sounded on the stairs and the door across the hall opened and closed. "That must not be good," I said, my previous worries coming back.

I went across the hall, Alice following me with a can of hairspray. "Alice," I said, holding a hand up.

I knocked lightly on Edward's door. "Edward?"

I could hear him get up from his bed and unlock the door. His eyes grew wide when he saw my appearance. "What's the occasion?"

"I have to have an occasion to wear pretty things now?" I challenged. 

"You look gorgeous," he said, ignoring my previous question.

Alice came to stand beside me and gave me a meaningful look. I shook my head, ever so slightly and Edward, always the perceptive one, picked up on it right away. "What's going on?" he asked suspiciously.

I shook my head and smiled. "Nothing at all."

I began shoving Alice out of the door. She turned to me and gave me a glare. "if you don't show him, I will tell my dad, and he can go next door."

"It's none of your business, Alice," I said acidly, pushing her out and locking Edward's door.

"What was that all about, Bella?" he asked me, moving to grab my hips. 

"It's nothing, Edward, honestly."

"I know it has something to do with Charlie. Alice said she'd send dad next door."

I sighed. "You're really too perceptive."

He glared at me. "Bella, you've never kept a single thing from me before."

He squeezed my sides, touching the edges of the bruise in the process and I flinched. He looked at me before understanding crossed his face. He went around behind me and lifted up the bottom of that godforsaken silk shirt and I heard a sharp intake of breath. "Bella, did Charlie do this?"

"No, for the last time. That happened when I tripped and hit the counter," I said, pulling away.

Edward grabbed me back and lifted it once more. I felt his hands brush ever so slightly across it, not enough to make it hurt, but enough to leave a flaming trail. He leaned in and kissed it lightly before standing up and wrapping his arms around me from behind. "That was one hell of an accident, Bella," he said angrily.

**EPOV**

I found myself facing the worst evening of my life. I had just broken up with a decent girl and broke her heart. Amber had cried and shoved me so hard, my breath was lost. And then, this. Bella had a line across her back and it looked sore and painful. I couldn't believe this. That Charlie could be capable of this. Accident or not, I felt myself wanting to kill him. Man, my hit list is really filling up these days.

Bella looked uncomfortable, so I stood up and wrapped my arms around her. "That was one hell of an accident, Bella," I said, feeling my anger rising.

She turned around and looked up at me. "It's not a big deal, Edward. Please, just…kiss me. Hold me. I don't need sympathy or anger. I need you to just make me forget last night."

I complied and crashed my lips to hers.

O.O.O.O

Okay, so there goes another chapter. Please Review for me. Please?


	8. Chapter 7: Vulnerability

**A/N:** Oh my Carlisle, you guys rock! 105 reviews as of right now! And for only 6 chapters!

Chapter 7: Vulnerability

I awoke the next morning to find Edward, back facing me, sliding pants on. His hair was wet, and it was obvious that he had opted to dress in his room, knowing that I was sleeping. I made no noise and simply reveled in the glorious sight before me. Edward definitely had amazing shoulders, strong and muscular, and his back was absolutely perfect. He was sliding his pants on over his boxer briefs, which formed to his luscious bottom in a most perfect way. I mean, who the hell wears boxer briefs anymore? Underwear models? No normal guy. But he does, and I can't say I mind it so much.

He lifted up a clean t-shirt and made to turn around, to look at me I presumed. I quickly closed my eyes, so as not to get caught staring and made my breathing a tad heavier. He reached down and brushed a hand across my cheek, leaving a burning trail in its wake. I heard him sigh and then I heard his door open and close quietly. I opened my eyes and looked around his room, thinking of everything that had happened in the last few days. He had discovered the marks on my back a week ago, and since then, the Cullens had not allowed me to return home. 

Carlisle went to speak with Charlie, despite my protests. Charlie had not been pleased, but he had complied with Carlisle's decision to keep me at their house until I was ready to return my own. I did not want to face Charlie just yet, but I knew it was unfair to him to stay hidden away. When I was dressed, I would be going next door to speak with my father. 

It was beyond embarrassing to have the whole Cullen family know my business, but Alice had been unable to keep the information from Esme, who had told Carlisle. Emmett had asked why I was being put up in the guest room, so it wasn't long before his question was answered.

Every night since I had left Charlie's I had woken up with nightmares of a sinister sort. I dreamt constantly of the autopsy photos of my mother. I dreamt of her funeral, Charlie's reaction. And I dreamt of Charlie many times. I dreamt that he was killed or locked away in jail for something. I dreamt constantly that I was taken away, never to return to him. 

And every night, waking from these chilling dreams, upset and crying, Edward was there for me. He held me, asked no questions, said nothing. He knew I hated sympathy and pity. He knew I just needed to be held, to feel his unconditional love (platonic or otherwise). 

Last night, I had snuck in after I was sure all of the other Cullens were asleep to find him reading from our favorite collection of Wordsworth poems. He looked up when I entered, and could tell by my tearstained cheeks that I was in no mood to talk. He came to me, wiped the salty rivulets from my face and kissed me gently. He had made calming noises and held me tightly. He brought me to his bed and held me in his lap, stroking my hair and reciting the soothing words of William Wordsworth in my ear. We both loved the Romantic poets, and his voice reciting the words soothed me. Finally, I fell into a deep slumber and he laid me down and climbed into bed next to me. He ran his fingertips lightly over my arm and shoulder and I fell into a deep sleep, nightmares racking my brain.

And so, I woke up this morning, to Edward's tight buns in my face, and a new problem faced me. Today I would have to see my father. I climbed out of bed, dreading the day ahead and slumped to Edward's bathroom. I had taken a shower last night, and so I washed my face and brushed my teeth. My hair, now full of body, looked like it had been slept on all night so I tied it back. I went to Edward's closet and pulled on one of his t-shirts and a hoodie. I pulled on some jeans and went downstairs.

Everyone was on the back patio, enjoying the morning sun. "Hey," Edward said, getting out of his seat to offer it to me. 

I shook my head and pushed him back down. "Sit, Cullen. I can stand."

Esme and Carlisle were looking incredibly worried about something and Emmett and Alice looked incredibly distraught. "Come on, mom. It's one week. What could possibly happen?" Emmett pleaded.

I stood behind Edward's chair and leaned down to whisper in his ear. "What's going on?"

"Emmett and Alice want to go to California for the last week of break."

I rolled my eyes. "Not going to happen."

"I don't even know why they're trying," Edward replied, amused.

Esme excused her husband and herself and went inside to discuss it. I plopped down in Esme's chair and stretched my legs out before me. Edward placed a hand on my knee. "You alright, Bella?" he asked, concern crossing his beautiful features.

I nodded weakly. "I have to talk to Charlie."

Edward's face grew cross and I saw his jaw clench and unclench. "Would you like me to come?" he asked me.

I nodded again and stood, holding out my hand to him. "Oh," he said, surprised. "Do you want to go this early?"

I looked to my driveway where Charlie's cruiser was parked and turned back to him with a sigh. "If I don't go now, he's likely to leave and I'll miss him."

Edward walked slowly with me to my door and I nervously retrieved the key from under the doormat and opened the door. I got inside and found the house to be silent. I smelled toast in the toaster and Charlie yelled, "Bells?"

He came out from the kitchen, looking like a complete mess. His hair was scraggly and unbrushed. He had a sickly yellow pallor and his eyes were bloodshot. He reeked of alcohol, but was not wobbly, meaning the smell was stale--from an earlier date. He looked bashfully at me and narrowed his eyes at the bronze haired boy next to me.

"Dad," I said, and I ran to hug him. He wrapped his arms tightly around me. "I'm sorry for losing my temper, Bella. It really was an accident. Nothing like that will ever happen again."

I heard Edward make a growling noise behind me. Charlie looked shameful as he brought his eyes to the floor to address him. "Edward."

"Charlie," Edward replied, crossing his arms angrily.

"Dad, you look horrible! When was your last shower?" I asked, feeling awkward.

"Four days? Maybe five?"

I had been gone eight days. He had taken one shower. And it showed. "Please, take a shower."

"Are you…home?" he asked me, once again turning away.

I shook my head. "No. Not yet."

Charlie looked crestfallen and shameful. It made my heart break to see him like that. I hadn't talked to him so much in a while, and the last time I had, my mother was still alive. "Go, shower. I'll finish breakfast."

My father slumped up the stairs to the bathroom and Edward and I made our way to my cramped kitchen. "Why are you being nice to him?" Edward asked.

I glared at my love. "Because, he is my father. I can't allow one slip up to ruin our lives. He needs me still."

"Well, he sure knows how to show it."

I ignored this comment and continued. "Since my mother died, my dad's become a shell. He needs me to help him."

"Bella, he needs nothing but the bottle."

"Edward, he is my father. I can't abandon him."

We were silent as I made eggs for Charlie. I could practically feel the waves of hatred coming from Edward's rigid form. Charlie returned and I sat at the table across from him. "Dad, you look like crap."

He nodded. "I haven't had a drink in two days."

"So, you're withdrawing from alcohol," Edward interceded.

Charlie glared at him as I swatted his arm. "Edward," I warned.

I watched as my father took two bites of egg and then ran to the bathroom to throw it up. While he was away, I broke down and Edward rushed to my side. "Bella, it's going to be all right."

"I know. But, Edward, look at him."

"I know. If he's withdrawing, it's not going to be a good time for him. You need to stay with us, you shouldn't be here for that."

I nodded and cringed as Charlie returned. He was shaking violently and had lost any color from his already pallid skin. He went straight for the living room without a word and I followed. "Dad, it's hurting me to see you like this," I said, crying silent tears now. 

Edward's arm was around my shoulders as I slumped to the floor and grabbed my father's clammy hand. He looked up at me and smiled slightly. "I know, Bells. But, I'm trying now."

"Was the bruises on your daughter's back a nice wake up call?" Edward asked bitterly.

"What bruises?" Charlie asked. "I hit her face with my elbow."

"And then she tripped and hit the counter."

Charlie's face took on a mask of pain and he leaned back against his pillow. "I had no idea. But you're right. Accident or not, I'm going to see to it that I'll never do that again."

"It should have never happened in the first place. Drinking like that is just ridiculous," Edward said.

Charlie sat up and shot daggers at Edward. "Really? Have you ever lost anyone? It hurts, and the liquor takes away all pain."

Edward was on his feet now, growing steadily more angry. "If you'll remember, Charlie, my grandparents died last year. Both of them. Or perhaps you were too drunk to know what was going on."

Charlie bit his lip and laid back down. Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me to the door. "Bella, he needs to sleep. We should go."

I broke free of Edward's hands and returned to my father's side. "When you're better, dad, we'll have a talk."

He nodded. "I need to talk about her, too," he said, referring to my mother.

He had never really spoke to me about my mother's death, but I was now looking forward to some closure between us. I kissed my sick father's forehead and stood up. "I'll be back when you're better."

Charlie waved me off with one hand and said, "I won't have a single drink, Bella. Until the day I die."

Edward rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand once more. "Bye, dad," I whispered to my father's already slumbering form.

Edward was angry as hell while we walked up to his bedroom. When we got up there, he slapped his pencil cup of his desk violently, shattering the thin graphite pencils. I looked at him and he fought to control his breathing. "I hate that man, Bella. I hate him. For what he did to you. For what he…said to me."

And that's when Edward sat on the edge of his bed and began to cry. I hated seeing my strong, heroic Edward vulnerable. I wrapped my arms around him and let him cry silently into my shoulder. "I can't believe their gone, Bella. Sometimes, I see an old photo of us at Christmas, or get a whiff of cookies, and it's too much."

I rubbed Edward's muscular back and kissed his forehead. "They're gone, Edward. It's okay to grieve. It's natural."

He was silent and he hugged me to him tightly. That was the thing with Edward--he was never too macho to cry. If he needed to let it out, the grief over his lost grandparents, he would. To me, and only me, though. Only I could understand his pain.

When he had stopped shaking, I kissed the place where his neck flowed freely to his shoulder. "Two weeks."

"Huh?" I asked, confused by Edward's statement.

"Give Charlie two weeks. It usually only takes five days to stop withdrawing from alcohol. But give it two weeks to be safe."

"How do you know this?" I asked him.

He looked at the ground. "My uncle Tim's wife was a drunk. When she gave it up, it took about five das for all of the serious side effects to stop."

"Kara? A drunk. I never knew!" I said.

He nodded. "Our family's best kept secret."

I pulled back to look at him, his tearstained cheeks, his vulnerable olive eyes. I used my thumbs to smooth over his wet cheeks. "Edward, you're amazing. Really. All you've been through, and here you are. Dealing with my problems."

"I am not 'dealing with your problems,' I am helping you retain sanity and cope with the shitty life you've been dealt. My losses are nothing compared to those you've suffered," he said, placing his hands on either side of my face.

"My life isn't shitty."

Edward gave me a skeptical look. "Okay," I admitted, "most of it is. But I have you."

"Forever," he vowed.

I smiled. "That's all I need to get by."

He looked at my shyly and then leaned in to kiss me. This kiss was filled with a longing desire, despair, and pure love we both felt. I pushed him back on his bed and straddled his legs. Holding myself up with my left hand, I used my right to trace the outline of Edward's face, a face I had grown with, but that felt so unfamiliar to me. For instance, I had never noticed the freckle that Edward has at the outer corner of his left eyebrow. I had never taken note of the gentle bump in the bridge of his nose, no doubt a souvenir of his French heritage. I had never noticed how red his hair looks in the right light. I had never noticed that his eyes, green on first inspection, had a ring of bright blue around the pupil. And more importantly, I had never before noticed the look of love and adoration said eyes held.

He reached up to brush a fallen strand of hair behind my ear and caressed my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned in to his touch. He brought the same hand down, slowly, ever so slowly, down over my neck, shoulders, arms, and across my chest above the breasts. I grabbed his hand and led it to my right breast. I saw his Adam's apple bob as he gulped and even through my shirt, my body reacted. He blushed lightly, and brought his hand down to tease my stomach and sides, before sliding it back up, massaging gently where it counted. Finally, he brought his hands up to my face and pulled it down to meet his. He kissed me fiercely and, faster than lightening had me pinned beneath him on the bed. His weight was marvelous and I urgently ran my hands over every inch of his clothed body I could reach. I brought my hands around to trace across the back I had spent the entire day marveling at. It was hot to the touch, but, slipping my hands beneath the waist of his jeans, I was able to get a moan from him.

Just as I was going to slip my hand in and grab his succulent bottom, a knock sounded at the door and he rolled off of me quickly, straightening his clothing as he went to unlock it. I pushed my hair back and laid against his headboard, 

Alice was at the door, along with Emmett, both looking positively gleeful. "Aw, I'm sorry. Did we interrupt play time?" Emmett asked.

I had to hand it to the Cullens. They really knew how to intrude at the entirely wrong moment.

O.O.O.O.O

I know that was incredibly short. But I'll update more tomorrow. It's spring break and I'm taking it easy, meaning you may get a few updates soon…

Please review. Y'all are just making me the happiest fanfictioner ever! 


	9. Chapter 8: Our Date

**A/N:** Once again, thanks for being great reviewers!

Chapter 8: Our Date

"Oh, it won't be so bad. We'll go to dinner and then the laser show. You'll have fun," Edward promised.

Tonight was going to be our first real date, and he insisted we go to dinner before the laser show. Why, I didn't know. But he wanted me to "wear something nice."

"Edward, you know I hate fancy occasions," I complained.

"Isabella. It's not going to be fancy. Just fancier than Taco Bell. Now, if you'll stop complaining and allow Alice to chose a shirt for you, we can get going before they play Dark Side of the Moon," Edward said, once again glancing at his watch.

I sighed and went to knock on Alice's door. "Al, I need some help."

She swung her door open and she and Jasper looked ruffled. "What? I'm kinda in the middle of something."

Jasper kissed her forehead. "Doesn't matter. I've got to be going anyway."

Alice looked irritated. "Thanks a lot, Bella."

"Hey, just getting you back for last night," I said, smiling.

She rolled her eyes. "So, what was so important you had to interrupt fun time?"

"Edward insists on me wearing a decent shirt."

She nodded knowingly. I sighed. "We're going to see the Laser Spectacular, I don't know why I have to dress nice. Why can't I just wear a Floyd shirt?" I complained.

"Because," she said, "this is your first official date."

"Yes, and we're going to a _concert_."

"Still," she said in a final way, heading to her closet.

She pulled out a dark blue shirt and held it out to me. "Wear this one. And the midnight shadow."

"Where are you going?" I asked, incredulous that she would trust me to apply my own makeup.

"I'm going to go talk to my parents. They said they were still thinking about California when I asked them earlier."

I scoffed. Like the Cullens would ever allow them to go to California. She left and I put on the shirt. I looked way too girly, my bust was spilling out and it brought out the color of my eyes too much. Ah well, I no longer cared. I just wanted to get this horrendous dinner over with. I tried to mimic Alice's way of putting on makeup and got close enough before I went downstairs to meet Edward. He was buttoning his shirt while pacing back and forth.

"I'm ready," I said, stuffing my wallet into my back pocket in a most manly manner.

The way Edward looked at me next told me I looked anything but manly. His eyes practically bulged out of his head at the sight of my pale half-moon shaped exposure of breasts. It appeared he took a deep breath and held his hand out. "Come on, short stuff. We've got to be going."

I hated when he called me short stuff. What kind of pet name was that anyway? I took his hand reluctantly, wanted nothing more than to run up to his room and stuff myself between the covers and feign sick. "I really hate anything too nice, Edward."

He nodded. "I know. For the last time. It's going to be fine."

He closed my door behind me and walked to the driver's side, running a hand through his hair nervously before opening his door. It was cute that, even after seventeen years of knowing me, he could still get nervous about taking me to dinner. It was, however, not cute that I could get nervous about him bringing me to dinner. He started up his old Volvo and we silently drove to Port Angeles. It was a comfortable silence at first, but it quickly grew annoying. I wanted to hear his silky smooth voice.

"Can we listen to some music or something?" I asked, turning it on anyway.

He sang along to his favorite Hendrix song, and I closed my eyes to the sound. It was the most marvelous voice I had ever heard. Even since we were young, I was jealous of his many musical abilities. He reached over and grabbed my hand, kissing it lightly. His eyes never left the road as he said, "I am happy you decided to accompany me tonight. I thought I'd have to scalp the laser tickets to get the money back for yours."

I could tell he was joking and I smiled. "Do you honestly think I'd miss out on our first date?"

He laughed. "I was beginning to wonder…"

I swatted his thigh and rested my head against the back of the seat and sighed. "Still wish we didn't have to do dinner first."

He rolled his eyes. "Hush, Bella."

We were silent once more, only his smooth voice singing along occasionally broke the silence. He finally pulled in front of a small Italian restaurant and parallel parked with ease. It didn't look too expensive, so I decided to get out. He grabbed my hand. "See? Not so bad," he said, pointing out the fact that it was a quaint little restaurant, personal and cozy.

The inside smelled heavenly and my mouth was already watering. A pretty waitress escorted us to a table and was entirely too friendly to Edward as she asked, "Can I get you a drink to start?"

Edward looked at me. "Coke would be fine."

He nodded. "Two Cokes then."

The waitress left, dispirited that Edward hadn't even so much as looked up at her. "You look amazing in that shade of blue, Bella. I've always wanted to tell you that."

"Yeah, well, Alice doesn't allow me to really wear black when she dresses me anymore."

"I'm glad," he said, reaching across the table to play with a strand of my hair. "She was right about us, you know."

I nodded. "She usually is."

"You know…I've had a major crush on you since we were like thirteen," he said.

I laughed. "That long, eh?"

He frowned. "You haven't liked me long then?"

I shrugged. "I don't really know how long. I only recently realized what jealousy felt like. And then, feeling love…I was nearly knocked over with the force of it."

He laughed. "It is amazing isn't it? I mean…seeing love and jealousy in movies, and then experiencing it… two entirely different feelings."

I nodded. "Exactly."

The waitress returned, and Edward allowed me to order again. "The mushroom ravioli, please."

"Make that two," he said, still not glancing up at the pretty girl.

"I'm sorry about Amber," he said.

I shrugged again. "No big deal. You had the right to see other people. You weren't even mine yet."

"Wrong," he replied, tracing a finger over my exposed collarbone. "I've always been yours. Just as you've always been mine."

"True," I agreed.

"You remember when you had a crush on Eric Yorkie, in like second grade?" he asked me.

I cringed and then nodded. "I really don't want to think about that."

He laughed his musical laugh. "Well…I spent every recess on the playground devising ways to get his head stuck in the monkey bars or get him alone so I could shove sand in his pants."

I laughed with him. "I thought you said you had a crush on me since we were thirteen. That was _second grade_."

It was his turn to shrug. "I told you, you were always mine."

I thought back to the time he was referring to. Eric Yorkie had been one of our good friends back then, before we grew up and realized and hated each other. I had had a stupid little puppy dog crush on him. I had spent a good deal of time with him, while Edward hung with Mike Newton, on the opposite team. I distinctly remember a time when Edward got Eric pinned to the ground, and shoved his head into the sandbox. Wow…good times.

He was grinning at me when I looked up at him. "Your cute when realization hits you," he said.

I pushed his hand away from where it was making circles on my arm when the waitress came back to us. "Here's your food. Let me know if you need anything."

Edward thanked her and leaned away from me to unravel his silverware from its napkin. I did the same and took my first bite. Edward had found my weakness long ago: Italian food. He knew now I couldn't yell anymore about coming out to dinner. It wasn't even a very fancy place. It was nice, nicer than most places I've been, but it wasn't a skirt and tie place. He knew me only too well.

I looked around at the walls. One was adorned with a few photos, some black and white, getting colored as the years underneath got closer to present times. It was a family run place and had been since it opened in 1884. The booths had an antiqued feel, and I didn't doubt that they had once been brand new in here, but grew antique as the years passed. I loved this little hole-in-the-wall, mom-and-pop place.

Edward had a smirk on his face. "Told you you'd like it."

I stuck my tongue out at him childishly and stuffed another ravioli in my mouth. He wrinkled his nose. "Attractive, Bella."

I laughed merrily and he smiled at the sound. "It's wonderful to hear you laugh these days."

I grew quiet and he was instantly repentant. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the mood."

I smiled half heartedly. "You didn't."

He sat back, finished with his food and wiped his mouth with his napkin. "Any day now, you'll finish so we can get out of here," he said playfully.

I narrowed my eyes and stuffed a ravioli in. "Shut it, Cullen."

He paid the check as I finished and we finally walked back to his car. He let me in before going back to his side, while I wondered when Edward got so chivalrous. He looked at me. "What?" he asked, looking up at his rearview mirror to make sure he didn't have anything on his face.

"Nothing," I replied, grinning. "You're just so gentlemanly."

He laughed and rubbed his fingernails against his shirt arrogantly. "I know. Gotta treat muh lady right."

I laughed too and he grabbed my hand as he drove to the Coliseum. It was packed with people flooding in from all directions. "You'd think Pink Floyd was really going to put on a show," I said.

"I know. It's only the lasers to a set recording," he said, parking a block from the Coliseum in the first empty space he saw.

I noticed what everyone was wearing--jeans and t-shirts and punched his arm. "Look! They all got to wear regular clothing."

He grinned. "I know. I just like seeing you dressed up once in a while."

"Yeah, well, don't expect it again anytime soon," I replied, crossing my arms.

He leaned in toward my ear. "Oh, why. It so turns me on," and he looked down at the exposed cleavage and winked.

I giggled and shoved him. "You are such a caveman."

"A true Cro-Magnon," he grinned and said, "Now, get out. We've got a short walk."

We walked hand-in-hand to the venue, where there were skylights pointing every which way and a huge banner read "Paramount's Laser Spectacular Featuring the Music of Pink Floyd." I could feel the adrenaline of excitement pumping and picked up the pace, making Edward chuckle.

That irritating little chuckle was quickly extinguished when a passing man wolf-whistled at me. Edward's face grew dark and I smirked. "Still turned on."

He glared at me. "It doesn't matter what you wear. You should be able to walk down the street butt naked if you'd like, without being whistled at by a dog."

"Not all men are as kind and gentlemanly as you, Edward," I reasoned, silently happy that he was feeling a little jealous. "Just remember who I'll be returning home with tonight. And every night for the rest of lives."

He smiled widely and dropped my hand to put his arm around my waist. "Damn straight."

We got to the ticket taker and he scanned our ticket, pointing us in the direction of the door that corresponded with our numbers. I was definitely getting excited now. The Coliseum was packed with people and was noisy and dark. Edward led us to the area by the front and we took our seats. This was the first concert I had ever been to where I had to sit, and it was weird. I knew I wouldn't have to worry about people standing, Pink Floyd wouldn't be making an actual appearance. I rested my head on Edward's shoulder and he caressed the skin of my hand. "I love you," he mentioned.

"I know," I said, still not able to return the sentiment. I hadn't been able to say it to him since that first night in his room.

He sighed and a man about sixty years old sat next to him. "You're pretty young to be here," he said to Edward.

He shrugged. "What can I say? We were definitely born in the wrong generation."

While Edward and the man carried on a conversation, I watched people gather in around us. When I went to school and didn't have Edward or another Cullen by my side, I was a serious loner. And so, I picked up the habit of people watching. I found the human race to be a fascinating bunch, and the ones at a Pink Floyd laser show were more so. There were people of all different types here, gathered to here the music and enjoy the show. A woman with a green Mohawk and her tattooed boyfriend took a place in front of us, and proceeded to make out. An older couple, probably in their fifties, sat in the row ahead of them and appeared to be having a heated argument.

Edward stopped my people watching when he said, "Show's starting."

And that's when the lights went completely dark and the large screen on stage lit up. For the next two hours, we enjoyed the sounds of one of the greatest classic rock bands and viewed pictures and drawings of said band.

When the show was over, I was tired and Edward clearly was not. "That was amazing!" he said happily.

I nodded happily. "It was. Wish we could actually see the band."

He laughed. "True, its not quite the same. But, it was still a good time."

I grabbed his hand as we waited, packed like sardines, to get through the doors. "Thank you for bringing me tonight. This was the perfect first date."

"Your welcome, doll," he said and kissed my temple.

"Now, let's go home. I'm tired," I said as we followed the mass crowd toward the parking area.

He looked at me and then sighed and lifted me up, bridal style. "What are you doing? Edward Cullen, put me down!"

"No, I don't think I will," he replied and he took off running, though not too quickly.

He stopped at his car. "Put me down, you great oaf!"

He laughed and set me on the hood of his car. "Well, look at that, my own pretty little hood ornament."

I laughed and pushed him away. "Get in the car, Cullen."

The entire time we drove home, he leaned over to kiss me lightly at every red light, kissed my hand in between red lights, stroked my thigh between all the kisses. It seemed he was having a hard time keeping his hands away tonight, and I couldn't blame him. I wanted desperately to tell him to pull the car over and then proceed to do naughty, naughty things to him. But I resisted.

Finally, well past midnight, we pulled up to his dark house and silently climbed the stairs. His parents door opened as we were both about to head into his room and Carlisle peeked out. "How was the show, kids?" he asked.

"Incredible," I said as Edward said, "Unbelievable."

"That's good. Sleep well," he said before closing his door.

"I better go to my room, in case he's listening for my door," I whispered to my Adonis.

"I'll be up in one hour," he said before kissing my wrist lightly and disappearing into his room.

I went to my bedroom and turned the lights on, exhausted. On my bed sat a two piece black bikini and a note. I opened the note to find Alice's quick, loopy handwriting. _"Get used to the skin exposure and try it on. I expect you to wear it when we go to the beach in CALIFORNIA!!"_

I looked at the little thing and then raised my eyebrows. Carlisle and Esme actually agreed to this? I couldn't believe it. What kind of crack were they smoking to allow a bunch of horny teenagers to take an unsupervised trip to another state?

O.O.O.O.O

Please review. I know not too much happened. Just a nice little date for the two. I'll try to update tonight or tomorrow.


	10. Chapter 9: Take A Long Drive With Me

**A/N:** You, my perceptive lovelies, have probably noticed I changed the name of the story a little. Angelznight3000 said that the story reminded her of an Alicia Keys song of the same title. I've never heard the song, but the title has a nice ring to it! Okay, enough talking. Next chapter.

Chapter 9: Take A Long Drive With Me

The Sunday of the last week of August, I awoke to Alice shaking me. "Bella, it's almost time to leave. Are you going to get up any time soon?" she asked.

"I…don't wanna," I said, rolling onto my stomach.

"My brother is loading the car, and he said if you are not down in ten, he's coming up."

"Oh, I am so scared," I said, covering my head with the blanket.

Alice let out a roar of frustration and slammed the door behind her. I heard her tiny feet pounding on the stairs and groaned. It was way too early to be leaving. I was just about asleep once more when I heard a chuckle. I removed the pillow from under my head and threw it at the source of the noise. He caught it and grinned evilly. "So, you're not scared, eh?"

"Not the least bit," I said, covering my head once more.

He sighed and ripped the cover from on top of me and replaced it with his own body. He pinned my hands up by my head and straddled my legs. "Get off of me," I said angrily.

"Ugh, Bella, your breath is rank. I think it's singed my nose hairs," he said rolling off of me.

I clasped a hand over my mouth a shot him a death glare as he laughed merrily. I ran to the bathroom and yelled, "I absolutely hate you, Cullen!"

He opened the door and leaned on the door frame. "You have no problem expressing your hatred for me, but telling me you love me, impossible."

I looked at the sink as I brushed my teeth, really not wanting to talk about it. He moved to stand behind me and grabbed my hips. "Why is that?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know, Edward."

"Yes, you do. Otherwise you'd be able to say it to me."

I sighed and capped the toothpaste. "Edward, why do we have to talk about it?" I asked.

"Because, you had no problem telling me the first time. But now, nothing."

"Why do you need me to tell you, then? If you already know?" I asked him, still avoiding his gaze as I packed up my personals bag.

"Because I'd like to hear it once in a while," he said angrily, hurt entering his tone now.

"But I've told you already. I love you. There, are you happy?" I said.

"No. Now I feel like I'm forcing you to say it," he said, walking to his door. "Be downstairs in five or your ass gets left behind."

He left me upstairs, feeling like shit. I really didn't know why I was incapable of saying it. The last time I had told someone I loved them, it was my father, and I was thirteen. And look how that turned out…

Why was I even comparing that situation? Edward was my lifelong soul mate, my love, my everything. And my father was a drunken imbecile. I gathered the rest of my things and stuffed them into my messenger bag as I went downstairs. Edward was sitting in the front seat of his car, brooding. I slid in next to him and looked at my hands. He stayed silent and turned his face toward his house. "Edward," I started, and he still refused to look at me, "I'm sorry I can't say it to you."

He looked pained. "I don't understand why."

"Neither do I. But I do, just remember that."

"But I want to hear you say it. I want you to admit it out loud," he said, looking at his lap.

"I love you, Edward," I said, finally letting it out.

His eyes brightened a little and he nodded, but he didn't give in, knowing that I wouldn't be telling him this if we hadn't been arguing about it.

Alice and Jasper decided they wanted to ride with Emmett and Rosalie, because of the incredible amount of leg room Emmett's jeep had in comparison to Edward's Volvo. I couldn't say I was as particularly as thrilled about it this morning as I was last night. Edward and I hadn't been in a tiff last night. We had enjoyed each other's company at the movies and a small diner. We had shared ice cream and made out in his car in the garage before we snuck through the window. And now, we were sour with each other because I am an insensitive bitch. Great. What an excellent eleven hour ride this will be.

We followed Emmett's jeep onto the highway. Edward was still stern and silent. His face was twisted into a look of immense irritation and I sighed. "Can we turn on the radio?" I asked.

He flipped it on and leaned back once more. One of our favorite songs came on and I sang along, waiting for him to start too. After the song ended and he still hadn't opened his mouth, I touched his arm. "Edward, please talk to me."

"About what?" he asked.

"I don't know. But I don't want it to be so quiet. It's driving me crazy."

He sighed. "Fine then." But that's all he said.

I was going to hit him if he kept this up. "I meant let's talk."

"Go ahead," he said, waving a hand.

"Edward, you don't need me to tell you that I love you. You know that I do, that I always have, even though I have to admit it was platonic until recently. You should also know that I'll love you forever, whether we remain friends or something happens to separate us."

He looked at me, worried. "Why would that happen. My life is where you are."

"We don't know what will happen."

He nodded knowingly. "Yes I do. We are going to go to college, get respectable jobs, you're going to have my children--tons of accident prone Cullens-- and we are going to grow old together and be happy."

I smiled at the thought. "You're confident in your beliefs."

"Because, I know that I love you--forever. And as you feel the same, we'll always stay by each other's sides."

I smiled. "I love you, too."

He grinned, our argument forgotten now that he heard the sincerity behind my words. "It's nice to hear."

I leaned in and kissed his cheek lightly. "I hate when we fight like that."

"I know. Last time we fought, we were fourteen and you were pissed that I beat you at the Mario game."

I laughed. "Ah, to be fourteen."

"I hated fourteen. That was a horrible time."

"Why's that?" I asked.

"That's when I wanted you the most in my lifetime, up until then. Puberty was frustrating me, I wanted to tell you how I felt, ugh…what a lame, incredibly hard time."

I laughed at the unintentional pun. He caught on and snickered. "I didn't mean hard like that…though… it was certainly that kind of hard as well…"

"Was?" I teased.

"Was. Still is. Whatever," he said, smiling.

"Ah, teenage hormones," I said happily, glad we were being normal again.

"Are you saying you never felt anything remotely close to frustrating desire?" he asked, switching lanes as Emmett did.

"Not until recently, when I saw you half-naked."

"Half-naked?" he asked.

"I've noticed you love to walk to your bathroom in your underwear."

He had a wicked smile on his face. "You enjoying the sight, then?" he asked.

"Hell yes I am."

He laughed and ruffled my hair. At noon, it was time to take a gasoline and lunch break. We'd been on the road for five hours, and still had six more to go. After we made up, Edward and I sang loudly to annoying songs and danced. When we pulled up next to Emmett at a red light, Edward and I were dancing to 'Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch.' The four in the jeep looked at us as though we were crazy, and Emmett made the motion with his arm like he was rolling down an old fashioned window with a crank. Edward rolled down the window and leaned across me. "What?"

Emmett motioned to a small diner-slash-gasoline-station. "Let's eat there. I'm hungry enough to eat a damn bear."

We laughed and followed him into the parking lot. When we went in, Emmett and Alice were arguing. "Will you shut up Alice. I cannot drive any faster, or I will get pulled over. If that happens, I'll let you explain to the officer how you forced me to speed so that you could get to a secluded area in order to be with your boyfriend in private."

Alice blushed and harrumphed. "You are one sorry piece of-"

"Well, what a happy bunch we are. Clearly being in such close contact isn't helping. I don't think we'll last a week without bloodshed," Jasper said, sitting at the counter in the diner.

We ate, making jokes, Edward and I trying to diffuse the situation between his siblings. Before long, we were back on the road for the second half of the trip. I was suddenly tired after we ate, so I turned down the radio and laid back in my seat. Edward allowed his hand to roam over my covered body as I huddled underneath the thin blanket. "Why are you sleeping," he asked. "It's only the afternoon."

"Yeah, but I was woke up at five. And if you'll remember, we didn't do as much sleeping as we did kissing."

He smiled but said nothing and I closed my eyes. While my mind fell into a deep slumber, I had a dream about our future together.

**EPOV**

Bella had finally said it to me, with feeling. I never got why she couldn't say it after that initial time, but when she said it in the car after an hour of my ignoring her, she said it with so much sincerity. And now, I watched as she slept, remembering her lips as they formed the three sweet words.

Bella really had no idea of the effect of her presence on me. Sure, I had loved being with her when we were young. But now, now I needed to be with her, I needed to keep our bodies touching in any way possible, needed to feel her smooth skin in contact with mine. I was beginning to think I needed her more than air.

She was so beautiful, even though she never really believes me when I tell her. If only I could make her believe me.

**BPOV**

I must have seriously fallen asleep, because I woke up as we were driving down a long, winding road at the edge of a cliff. Edward's expert driving didn't have me worried, but the close proximity to the side of said cliff, and the impending 300 foot drop did. I looked out over the water, the Pacific Ocean, at the sunset. I knew we had to be nearing Jasper's grandfather's summer house some time soon. A sign we passed read: Eureka 10 mi.

"Hey, there. You've been out for a while," Edward said, automatically grabbing my hand.

"Told you I was tired. How much longer do you think?"

"Fifteen minutes, maybe? I'm not really sure," he said, turning onto a road and following Emmett's jeep down a long dirt road.

The road was beautiful, with lush vegetation on both sides. Not that I hadn't seen enough vegetation back in Forks, but still… When the trees and bushes finally broke, a large valley spread out before us, with an enormous house in the center. Rows and rows of grape vines spread out as far as I could see, the setting sun giving everything a rosy golden tint. The house, an Italian-style mansion, was the biggest house I had ever seen. Then again, I lived in Forks. The scene looked like something straight out of Tuscany. "The house is on a vineyard?" I asked, awed by the beauty of nature.

Edward smiled. "Yeah. It's really quite beautiful isn't it?"

"Yeah it is. I was expecting some beach bungalow or something," I said, still in awe as Emmett's jeep made it's way through a cloud of dirt along the road.

"I knew Jasper's family was in the wine business, so I kind of expected something like this."

"You know Alice is going to drag us to the beach anyway."

Edward nodded and parked the car. We got out, and I was more excited than I had been in quite a while. "Jasper, this house is gorgeous!" I said.

He smiled. "My grandfather fell in love with the vineyards of Italy and grew inspired. This came about shortly there after," he said, waving a hand out behind him at the vast land.

"How about a tour of the inside," Alice said happily.

Everyone was stretching their sore bodies and each made a noise of approval. Jasper grabbed Alice's hand and went up the long path that led to the front door. The path was surrounded by beautiful flowers and towering plants. I was surely in Heaven. A slight chill blew through the air and I shivered ever so slightly. Edward wrapped an arm around me and Jasper opened the door. He flicked the switch and I felt my jaw drop.

The house was even more amazing on the inside than it appeared from the outside. A chandelier, as big around as Edward's Volvo hung above the entrance hall, swaying ever so slightly. A grand staircase led up to our right, and a room, what appeared to be the living room, stretched beyond the entrance hall. Art hung everywhere--pictures of Italian villas, vineyards, autumn scenes, scenes of nature. To our left was one of the house's fireplaces, taller than I was and intricately designed and adorned with marble flowers, brushed with gold. "Jasper, holy Jesus. This place is amazing," Emmett said.

"Let's go up to the bedrooms, shall we?" he said, going up the stairs.

He opened the first door, and I squealed. I literally squealed. The bed in the center was a gigantic California king, with four posters and a canopy of purple silk. The bed covers were a deep royal purple satin, stitched with gold and silver thread. On the posters of the bed, carvings of grapes and vineyards were intricately made. The mirror above the dresser was plated with a rustic gold brush, and I marveled at it, as Edward stood behind me and marveled at me reflection. I went to the sliding glass doors and gave another squeal of pleasure. A large balcony, overlooking acres and acres of vineyard was attached to the room. And that wasn't even the best part. A hot tub sat to one side. "I call this room," I said happily and Jasper laughed.

"All right then. The rest of us can go find some rooms."

I went and belly flopped onto the marvelous bed. "I am in love with this house!"

Edward laughed and sat on the bed. He began taking off his shoes and groaning. "We'll definitely be putting that hot tub to use this week."

I made a murmur of agreement sleepily. "I'm going to take a shower," he said, and he walked into the bathroom.

I heard him let out a low whistle. "This bathroom is bigger than my bedroom at home."

I laughed and got up to unpack my clothing as the water started. It didn't take long, seeing as I had only packed a few outfits. I changed out of my disgusting driving clothes and into a thin wife beater tank top and tiny black shorts, ready for sleep once more. Riding in a car all day can certainly make one exhausted. I climbed beneath the sheets to discover they too were made of a fine satin. I may very well stay in bed the whole week we're here.

Finally, I felt Edward slid into the bed next to me, his body fresh smelling, his hair wet. I wished I had the energy to get up and take a shower, but I didn't. He wrapped an arm around me and sighed into my neck. "Night, love."

"Night," I said.

It didn't take long before his breathing grew heavy. Though my body was thoroughly exhausted, my mind was active. I sat awake for more than an hour, trying desperately to shut my brain off and fall asleep. Realizing It was a lost cause, I slid ever so carefully out from underneath the covers and Edward's arm, trying hard not to wake him. He deserved to rest his eyes after staring at a road for eleven hours.

I slipped out the sliding door noiselessly and went to lean on the balcony. The air was warm, with only the slightest hint that fall was on its way. That slight hint was enough to make me shiver, but I paid it no mind. I leaned down and turned on the hot tub, wanting desperately to warm myself. I leaned against the banister once more as I waited for the water to heat up, closing my eyes as the slight breeze blew over my face and ruffled my hair.

Finally, I stuck a foot in the water and it was warm enough, and so, I slid off my shorts and climbed in in my underwear. I sank into the warm water, relaxing instantly. I heard the door slide open and light footsteps. "Hey, what are you doing out here?" came the velvet voice I so loved.

I opened my eyes to find him standing before me in his underwear, his arms crossed before him as he fought off a chill. I sighed and smiled. "Trying out the hot tub," I replied.

He came to sit next to me, dangling only his feet into the water. "Why don't you get in?" I asked.

"In my underwear?" he asked.

I motioned to myself and my scantily clad body, and instantly regretted it. I blushed and tried to cover my bare thighs. I looked through the cracks in the banister, out into the pitch black night, and felt Edwards body slid into the water next to me. "Why do you do that?" he asked.

"Do what?" I asked, not wanting to look him in the eyes.

He put a hand under my chin and forced my eyes to his. "You are absolutely beautiful, Bella. I wish you wouldn't hide yourself."

I blushed once more and he smiled. His lips were on mine before I knew it, fierce and pleading. I felt his hand under my shirt, over my back and stomach, searching endlessly. I moved my hand to his chest, touching it lightly. He groaned slightly, moving his lips to my neck.

I knew what was to come, and I was ready and willing. I wanted Edward, all of him, here and now. And I was going to get what I wanted.

O.O.O.O

Another chapter. I made the house on a vineyard instead of the ol' cliché beach house. I love nature and think vineyards are gorgeous, especially in the fall when the leaves change colors. Ah, anyway. A review would be lovely.


	11. Chapter 10: Combustion

**A/N: **I'm getting bored with this story, as is with most of my stories. sigh Thanks for your kind reviews, as usual. If you're wondering what inspired me for the last chapter, you can go read the lyrics to the song on my profile.

Chapter 10: Combustion

Edward was kissing me furiously. I had never felt so much burning desire, or frantic want from him ever before. It was a wanton, lustful, passionate, and raw, unshielded desire, and I was happily reciprocating the same. His hands were all over my torso and back, drawing circles, clutching at my thin body. His lips were at my throat, kissing it lightly, butterfly kisses along my bare skin.

My hands were clutching his hair, pushing his head closer to my neck. My head was tilted to allow him easy access. His breathing was become shallower with every second that passed, and I brought my hand to his chest, placed it over his heart. I was happy to discover that his too was beating out an erratic tattoo. He pulled back to look at me, and I'd say his look was almost one of hunger. He grabbed me by the hips and pulled me under the water into his lap, so that I straddled his thighs. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer to him, trying to fill an imaginary gap.

**EPOV**

Ah, man, Bella was one hell of a kisser. Her taste was amazing, like cinnamon and sugar. It was the most addictive taste in the world, and it was driving me absolutely crazy.

I had only got up to see where she had gone. I had fallen into a light sleep, with her beside me, and awoke shortly there after to find her gone. I could hear the bubbling in the hot tub and knew that's where I would find her. And am I glad I did. She was wearing only a thin white wife beater, one of my undershirts no doubt, and a navy pair of underwear. It was the least amount of clothing I had seen her in since we were infants and ran around naked together. Even when we went swimming in the river back home, she had worn swim trunks and a tank top. But this…this was too much. I had to touch her. Had to taste her.

I couldn't keep my lips or hands away. I had moved her into my lap, which was a torturous blessing. I could feel her move against me, grinding and twisting her hips in the most sinuous, sinful fashion. She was going to kill me before the night was over.

I pulled away from her and looked down into the water, at where her breasts, exposed through the translucent tank top, were pressed against my chest. She saw my eyes trail down her body and back up, and the loveliest of blushes spread across her cheeks and neck. "May I?" I asked, feeling my own cheeks heat up.

She looked down timidly and nodded once. I covered her mouth with mine as I slid my hands beneath her shirt.

**BPOV**

I could feel Edward's hands slide over my sides, pulling the shirt with them. He was taking his sweet time, and I was desperately wishing he would hurry up. Like a band aid--just rip it off. That way, I wouldn't have all of this time to anticipate his reaction--which would probably closely resemble revulsion.

He pulled his face away to pull the shirt over my head, and I lifted my arms to let it free. I looked to him, to see him looking at me, the exposed me. I immediately felt awkward and self-conscious and I crossed my arms over myself. Edward frowned and pried my arms apart. "Stop doing that, love. It's really quite annoying," he whispered, allowing his eyes to roam once more.

I giggled nervously and put my hands on his shoulders. I felt his hands on my hips, sliding ever so carefully over every inch of my exposed back, hips, shoulders. I was growing impatient. He was purposely teasing me.

**EPOV**

The girl before me--well _on_ me, more like--really was too perfect for her own damn good. I allowed my eyes to roam over the pale, uninterrupted skin of her chest and stomach, luminescent in the feeble moonlight. Magnificent, absolutely majestic.

She looked frustrated and I brought my lips to her bare shoulder. "What's the matter?" I asked. "Am I making you uncomfortable? We can stop."

She shook her head. "I want more," she whispered breathlessly.

She brought her tiny hand to mine and I felt her push it up to her chest. My heart, and breathing, stopped, but I quickly regained composure and gave in to her request.

**BPOV**

Edward finally complied with my needs after I forced him to bring his hand higher, to where I wanted to feel it most. He massaged gently, caressing lightly. He ran a thumb over the peak, effortlessly gaining a moan from the back of my throat. He grinned at the sound and brought his mouth back to mine. His kissing was painfully slow, and he ran those glorious lips over my jaw, neck, shoulders, and chest before finally reaching the water's edge. He put one hand under me, to lift me a little higher, and one behind my back, leaning me away from him. I arched my back and he had free access to my breasts now. He captured my right in his mouth, causing another moan. He really knew what he was doing.

He teased the other with his hand, massaging gently, as his mouth sucked and licked at me. I could feel the fiery burn of desire within me, and I grinded my hips against his. He groaned ever so slightly. Nice to know I wasn't the only one losing control here. I did it again, and he pulled away from me. "Bella," he breathed, his voice husky with need.

I felt him lift me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He sat me on the edge of the tub while he leaned his hands on either side of me and kissed me once more. I ran my hand over his back, feeling the muscles I had marveled at for so long, lower and lower, until I reached his bottom. I grabbed a nice handful and at the same time wiggled my hips against him. He groaned loudly now and pulled away. Edward's eyes roamed over me once more, his hands following in their wake. A light breeze blew, causing me to shiver slightly. Goosebumps appeared, though I felt as though my body was spontaneously combusting.

Wrapping his arms around me tightly, he climbed out of the hot tub effortlessly, as though he was not carrying a one hundred and twenty pound girl. He carried me inside, sliding the door closed with his foot behind him. Edward walked to the wall and pressed me against it, his body holding me in place as his hands ran over me sides. I felt him fiddle with the band on my underwear and I leaned into him. "Please," was my pleading sigh.

He carried me, the both of us dripping wet, to the bed, where he practically tossed me and landed on top, holding his weight carefully. I unwrapped my legs and kept them bent on either side of him. Edward was breathing quick, shallow breaths to match my own and he ran his hands over my thighs. He brushed one finger over my inner thigh, much to close to my core to be chaste.

My breath hitched and his eyes shot to mine. "Is this okay?" he asked.

"Good Lord. Please, Edward," I begged, unashamed.

A distinct smirk came onto his face and he ran his finger tips, sinfully, teasingly, slow from the base of my neck to the waistband of my underwear and back up. My legs clenched on wither side of him and his eye closed.

When he reopened them, the light olive eyes I had grown to love had darkened, smoldering with burning concupiscence. He brought his hands to me panties and slipped them down, planting kisses along the trail as they got lower and lower. Finally, he had them off and he climbed in between my legs once more, kissing my ankle, calf, thighs, the reverse of the trail he had just left.

He looked down and I saw his eyes widen slightly. He licked his lips and brought his eyes slowly back up to mine. "Bella, you are…the most beautiful woman."

I blushed and he used this time to capture my lips once more. His hands were massaging my inner thighs, occasionally brushing against the burning center of my desire. I allowed my hands to explore his exposed skin. Every so often, a stray drop of water would cascade of his moving form and splash onto my skin in the most sensual way, a way that made me feel deranged with want. He brought his fingers to the entrance and I felt one slide in easily. My hips jerked upward, my back arched. He created a gentle motion, and my toes curled with the feeling of it.

I ran my own hand over my breast and Edward looked as though he were going to lose it. "Oh my…" he was cut off when I pulled his head down to mine. I kissed him, letting my hands go to his boxer briefs (him and his damn sexy boxer briefs would be the end of me). I pulled them down carefully and he pulled them off all the way. I heard them slap against the wooden floor to meet mine and my heart was pounding as I brought my eyes down.

In his complete glory, he was more like a Greek god than ever before. I leaned up and wrapped my arms around his neck, trying to roll him onto his back. He got the message and I was soon straddling him, looking at his naked form in awe and adoration. I brought one finger down and slowly ran the length of him, and his hips twitched. It was definitely my turn to smirk and he grabbed my hips. "No, you don't, woman," he said, and I was once again on my back, his weight pinning me down.

His weight on top of me, pressing me into the satin sheets, was delicious. But it wasn't enough at the moment. "Now," I demanded.

"I love it when you get bossy," he whispered, laughing nervously.

His breathing was shaky and he poised himself at my entrance. "Are you absolutely sure?" he asked.

I wrapped one arm around his shoulders and leaned up to his ear. "I love you, Edward."

He pushed into me and I let out a cry of pain. He stopped and a tear leaked from the corner of my eye. "Please don't stop."

"But I've hurt you," he reasoned.

"I'm fine," I replied, knowing this was going to happen.

He moved, a smooth and sensuously slow rhythm, and I bit into his shoulder to muffle the cry of pain. After a few moments, the pain subsided slightly and was replaced by a pleasure unknown to me up until now.

He kissed my neck lightly as my arm remained tangled around his neck. My back arched and I felt my chest press against his. His rhythm was subtly picking up speed, until he was thrusting at a decent pace. Both of our breath was coming forced and ragged now. My hips began to move simultaneously, allowing for a deeper effect. The pain hadn't gone fully, but I was too overcome by blinding passion and furious need for release, that I noticed it no longer.

I wrapped my legs once more around his waist, my hips bucking gently to meet his. He kissed every inch of skin he could easily reach, one of his hands underneath me on the small of my back, the other roaming over my skin. Finally, as my fingers dug into his back, I felt my body go rigid, and I screamed out his name as I felt wave after wave crash into me, making me feel as though I was floating on air. My chest heaved with the heavy breaths, and, after a few more thrusts, I felt Edward's release.

He collapsed onto my chest, our slick and sticky bodies touching every inch. I kissed and sucked at his shoulder, salty with a thin coat of sweat and he brushed his fingertips over my upper arm. His head rested on my chest and I brought my hands to his hair, matted with sweat to his forehead. I pushed it back with my hand and brought my fingers lightly over his warm cheek.

I had always thought the first time would be awkward, and I'd freak out and start crying or something. But, Edward made me feel beautiful, made me feel wanted. He made me feel want, in return. And so, our first time had been only slightly awkward at first, but incredibly pleasant over all.

We were forever bound to one another, in body and in soul. I felt nothing but pure love for him surging through my body as we lay together. My lifelong friend had become my lover, and the love of my life. The idea thrilled me to no end. I heard his breathing grow heavy and snuggled into the pillows underneath my head. His head still rested on my chest, and I ran my hand through his hair repeatedly as he slept, thinking of the slumbering, bronze haired god who laid on me, one arm wrapped firmly around my waist, the other hand resting next to his face on my collarbone.

How did I get this lucky?

O.O.O.O.O

Well, my first attempt at a true lemon. Let me know what ya think, please.


	12. Chapter 11: Why?

**A/N: **I know I am always saying this, but you guys rock! I'm glad you liked my lemon last chapter. I'm not experienced in that department at all, so I was hoping I could make it realistic… And, apparently I succeeded. So, I thank you kindly. I am also trying now to thank all signed reviews personally. Oh, and we are (as of right now) 19 reviews away from 200!! Yay!!

Chapter 11: Why?

I awoke the next morning, and Edward was already dressed. I stretched while he slipped on his shoes. "Hey," he greeted me with a large grin.

I smiled feebly back to him and sat up, holding the blanket firmly around my naked body. A knock sounded on the door and in came Emmett. He wrinkled his nose as I desperately willed myself to fall into a black hole and die. This was just what I needed--Emmett walking in on me as I tried to cover my body. Both mine and Edward's faces were turning scarlet, and a smirk became pronounced on the burly boy's face. "Whoa-ho-ho, what took place in here?" he asked, thoroughly amused.

He wrinkled his nose once more. "Ugh, Bella, you look like sex. You need to get in the shower and downstairs before Alice has a conniption fit."

I tried to hide my face--it was burning and I was absolutely sure that all of the blood in my body had rushed to it. "Shut up, Emmett. Don't you dare tell anyone what you've seen up here. Or I swear, Em--"

"What? What will you do?" he challenged.

"Emmett, get out!" Edward bellowed.

"Just remember that I know how to kill a man with a ballpoint pen to the temple," I warned.

He rolled his eyes. "Don't worry. It's none of my business. But, seriously, get in the shower. Alice is going to blow a gasket."

He exited and Edward came to sit by me on the bed. "I'm sorry he's such a jerk."

I shrugged, my heart still pounding. "You don't think he'll tell do you?"

Edward shook his head. "No. He's pretty good at letting our secrets remain just that."

"He told about us sleeping together in your bed," I reminded him.

"Three years after the fact," he reasoned.

I got up and walked to the bathroom, wrapped in the purple satin sheet, which was now ruined (A/N: Y'all and your despair over the sheets!) and I could feel his gaze on my back. For some reason, I couldn't bare to talk about it anymore to Edward. I ran the shower and let the ruined sheet fall to the floor. My body was still a little sore, and I hoped the water would help. I could smell his scent, an aggravatingly sweet smell that was simply irresistible, on my body, mingling with my own. I hugged myself and took a deep breath, inhaling that overwhelmingly desirable smell.

Last night, I had felt nothing but pure, unadulterated love for him. I had wanted him, wanted to be forever bound by him. I wanted to give him something I hadn't ever given anyone else, something that would mean as much to him as it meant to me. But this morning, I couldn't help but feel I rushed into it a bit. Why was I feeling doubt? I know I love him, and he loves me. I know we are going to remain together forever. I know our paths in life are one and the same. But I do not know why I allowed myself to be overcome by such a powerful, demanding lust.

When I got out of the shower, which had done nothing but give me too much empty time to think, Edward was no where in sight. I sighed, thankful he hadn't stuck around, and dug out some jeans and a shirt. I put on one of his hoodies and sat on the edge of the bed. I tucked my legs into the sweatshirt and put my head on my knees. I rocked back and forth slowly, tears running from my eyes.

I was being irrational. Why should I be crying? What happened last night was amazing and wonderful, better even. Words couldn't describe it. "Bella?" I heard Alice's light knock on the door.

"Yeah?" I said quietly.

She opened the door and stepped in, her face showing confusion and worry. "Bella, hon, what's wrong?" she asked, coming to my side.

I shook my head and put my head back on my knees. She looked at the sheets, large purple stains from the water last night. She looked back at me and brushed a strand of my wet hair behind my ear. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I looked at her and was quiet for a minute. She remained patient, something I knew to be incredibly difficult for her, and I finally spoke. "I'm scared."

Her face scrunched with confusion. "Why? Did he…you know…use protection? You're not worried about getting pregnant are you?"

I shook my head. "No. I've been on birth control for four years."

Her eyes grew wide. "Really?"

I nodded. "You're mom took me to the doctors for the horrifying cramps I got. They prescribed me birth control to help…"

"Then, what's the matter?" she asked kindly, true care spilling out in her tone.

I shrugged. "I don't know. It's just…we've taken a huge step in our relationship… A relationship that hasn't even been going that long… What if this changes everything?"

Alice was quiet for a moment before, "First, yes, it was a huge step, but, hon, your relationship is not fresh. You've been soul mates since the first day you laid eyes on him--only a few days old. And second…it will change everything. But that doesn't mean it'll change for the worse. If anything, your bond will be even stronger."

She finished knowledgably. I wiped my cheeks and eyes and picked at the sleeve of Edward's hoodie. She put her hand on my knee. "Are you coming?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No, I think I'll stay here. I need to think about some things."

She nodded. "Should I send Edward up?"

I shook my head again. "Please don't. Tell him I just need some alone time. He won't question you--he knows me too well."

She left after kissing my forehead. I really did like Alice when she was being caring and not trying to make me into her own Barbie doll. I heard four car doors slam and then the tires on the dirt road as they drove away in the direction of the beach. I stood up and walked out onto the balcony. My shirt was still sitting in a puddle by the hot tub. I picked it up and held it over the railing, wringing it out and then hanging it over the side to dry in the breeze.

I leaned on the railing and looked out over the vast acres of grape vines. A small breeze blew over the open land, blowing my damp hair about and making me glad I wasn't going to the beach. It helped me clear my head a little.

A little. I was still worrying over Edward and I and how our relationship was forever changed. We couldn't go back and take back our virginities, though, I'm not so sure I would if I could. If given the opportunity to make love (for that's what we had done. We hadn't "fucked"--we had expressed our deepest love to one another in a romantic and intimate way), I'm almost certain I would do it again. But I still couldn't help feeling that I allowed myself to get carried away.

I knew one thing, I haven't wanted anything so bad in my entire life. The lust and undeniable ache of arousal were almost maddening last night. There would have been absolutely no way I could have stopped his advancements, stopped my own advancements…

My brain is quite the enigma, I know. I loved being with him, and I'm not regretting it. But I am scared that by not taking it easy I've managed to screw everything up…

I really need Edward right now. I shouldn't have let him go. I thought I needed to be alone to think. But, instead I needed him now more than ever. I needed him to tell me that I haven't messed up our relationship, or more importantly, our friendship. I needed him to tell me he felt more connected to me now. I needed him to tell me that last night was a step in our lives that we're ready for. I needed him to tell me he wanted me again, and again, and again, forever. Hell, I just needed him.

What a goddamn idiot I am.

**EPOV**

"Ed, can I talk to you for a minute?" Emmett asked me as he sauntered over to where I was reading _Catcher in the Rye_ and sipping my lemonade.

I looked up at him. "Sure, go ahead."

He looked impatient. "Actually, I meant in private. One man to another?"

I narrowed my eyes. What in the hell could he possibly want to talk about that we needed to step away? I got up and followed him to a huge piece of drift wood. He sat and I copied his motions. "What is it, Em?"

He looked uncomfortable for a moment before he let out a long breath. "Edward, I know I told you it was none of my business--"

I groaned. "Oh, not this, Emmett. Please."

He looked stern. "Edward, as your older brother, it is my duty to have the talk with you."

I rolled my eyes. "Dad beat you to it about ten years ago."

He shook his head. No, this is different. Now that you've already had sex."

I looked at him, my face growing incredibly hot. "Okay, then. What is it?"

He cleared his throat and shuffled his feet in the sand beneath us. "Well, first, were you safe?"

My face was going to burst with all of the blood that was rushing to it. "Bella's been on the pill for years."

Emmett quirked an eyebrow, but nodded. "You know that's not fully protective, right?"

"It's 99.9 percent effective. Plus…she doesn't take the placebo pills…so she never actually…has a period…" I was definitely revealing too much, but I couldn't shut up.

"Just be careful, Edward. For future reference, remember that don't protect against diseases."

I was going to throw up. "We were both virgins. And I'm never going to sleep with anyone else. She's the only one for me…"

Emmett nodded. "Okay. Now, about the way you treat her-"

"What's wrong with the way I treat her?" I asked, offended.

Emmett smiled. "Nothing. I'm talking about how you'll treat her now, after the fact. Just, make sure you treat her like a queen. Whisper sweet nothings into her ear, compliment her. Girls love that," he looked at Rosalie.

"Okay…"

"When you have sex, make sure to let her know that it's just you and her in the world. Act as if no one else even exists. Make eye contact if you must."

I nodded. This was definitely an awkward conversation. "Well, that's kind of… it, if you have any questions… you could, er--ya know…ask me. I'll try to help you."

I did have a question for him, but I had no idea how to voice it… I shifted nervously. Emmett exhaled a long sigh again. "What is it? I really want to get to Rose, we're going to play chicken with Jasper and Alice."

"What--what about…before?" I asked, feeling like a complete imbecile. "How…how should I…_treat_ her then?"

Emmett laughed shakily. I'm glad this was awkward for him too. "You mean…foreplay?"

I was sure I felt a blood vessel in my head pop as the blood rushed through it. I had never been so embarrassed in all my life. I nodded. Emmett looked at the ground as he spoke, his own cheeks growing rosy. "Well…there is one trick you could try…"

**BPOV**

I decided to remake the bed with fresh sheets I found in the linen closet. They weren't satin and they weren't even purple. They were black and cotton, but the most expensive looking cotton sheets I had seen--they probably had an incredibly high thread count. Here I am, by myself in this huge house. And what am I thinking about (besides the obvious sex-with-best-friend fiasco)? Cotton sheets. We had completely ruined the sheets with all of the water on our bodies last night. The purple dye had begun to run. I felt kind of bad, ruining someone else's things. I doubted Jasper's grandfather would ever notice.

I put the old sheets in a trash bag and took them out to the garbage. Perhaps we should have dried off first. Ah, but the water was such a turn on, the way it made our bodies slick and slippery, the way it fell off of him and splashed onto me. I really should not be thinking about last night until I talk to him about it. No use in getting worked up if he's not here and willing to fix the problem…

I laid on the freshly made bed, images of last night running through my mind like the film in an old fashioned kinetoscope. I really hope everything between us was going to be okay. I really wanted to do that again.

After hours of just lying on the bed and thinking, listening to my iPod, I turned the music off and heard the sound of Emmett's jeep returning. My heart started to pound in anticipation. What was I going to say to him? I wasn't sure I wanted to see him yet. Not until I figured out what to say.

I didn't have enough time to learn a disappearing act before he opened the door and slid into the room. He smiled slightly when he saw me, and for some reason, he looked flushed. I turned my back to him and went out onto the balcony. The sun was sinking low, once again blanketing the vineyards in a rich golden hue. A fierce storm loomed in the distance, threatening to come our way. Edward came and stood next to me, not touching me in the least. I knew it. Last night changed everything. He Didn't even want to touch me now. Damn it, what did I do?

I cleared my throat. "Did you have fun?"

A full fledged blush spread across his face now. "It was…interesting."

"Oh?" I asked, confused by the look on his face. "How so?"

He shifted his weight. "Emmett and I had a very…awkward conversation."

I groaned. "About last night?"

"Well," his voice cracked and he cleared his throat, "Kind of. But more about…future nights."

I could feel myself blush, my heart was pounding. "About that, Edward, I wanted to talk to you."

He looked at me, worried. "What's the matter?" he asked.

I sighed and averted my eyes. "I'm…scared."

He was touching me now, his hands on either side of my face. He was forcing me to look up at him. "About what?"

Oh, God. Here come those damn tears again. Curse God for making me a woman. "I don't know. I just…don't want anything to change. I don't want you to feel like…obligated to keep me. I…"

I was crying now. I am such a loser. Edward was hugging me. "Bella, why would you think I would feel obligated to keep you? I want nothing more than to spend every waking moment of the rest of my life with you."

"Do you think we're ready for this, yet?" I asked.

He was silent for a moment. "If you weren't ready, Bella, you should have told me. I wouldn't have cared. I could have waited."

He thought I had done that last night for him. He had no idea how selfish I was… "No, no. I just mean. Are we ready to make that transition? From friends to-to lovers?"

"I believe we are. But I'll leave it up to you. If you'd like to wait longer, I'll wait with you. I want you forever."

That was all I needed to hear. "I don't really want to wait. I want to progress, but I don't want this to change us. I want us to be Bella and Edward. I want us to remain friends first and foremost."

He touched my hair now, looked me up and down and then looked straight into my eyes. "You will always be my best friend. Always. But, I'm not going to lie. I want you as more than a friend. I want you n every way a man can have a woman. I want you to be mine and only mine."

I smiled widely. "Same here."

"You've got me, babe._ Bring on the shackles, I'm your prisoner._" (quote there.)

I leaned up on my tip toes to kiss him. My brain was hurting from all of the confusing thoughts that had swam in my head all day. How could I have ever doubted us? Alice was right, the bond we had forged last night made us grow closer. We belonged to each other for life, and we may as well start that long path into adulthood now.

He broke away and grabbed my hand. "Come on, shorty. We're going to go downstairs and hang. Jasper said that storms usually knock out the power here."

O.O.O.O.O

Okay. I know that was an incredibly confusing chapter, but whoever said my version of Bella was simple? I am basing her on myself (I know, I'm arrogant), and I am incredibly confusing. And, then, so is she.

You can review now. I'd love it.

This story isn't over by the way, so you guys don't have to worry. You'll know when it's over.


	13. Chapter 12: Take a Long Drown With Me

**A/N: **We've made it past 200 reviews! You guys rock. Ich liebe euch!

Chapter 12: Take a Long Drown With Me, Of California Wine

Our friends were downstairs, looking rather sun kissed. I sat on the floor and Edward sat next to me, holding my hand, but giving me space. Everyone else looked exhausted, and Jasper was trying to put a shirt on over his burnt back without causing it too much pain. I found it to be slightly amusing, but my mind was still focused on the fact that Edward and I had just come to a consensus--that we were going to continue with our new physical relationship, that we were too in love not too.

I scooted closer to him and he smiled that handsome sideways smile I love so much. He kissed my cheek and said, "I love you," in my ear.

"Me too," I said, grinning.

"Ugh, you two. We know this whole relationship is new to you, but can you try not to be so lovey-dovey? It's making me sick."

"What do you mean lovey-dovey? I didn't think we were being lovey-dovey. How 'bout you, schnookems?" I said to Edward, giving him my most dramatically loving face and batting my eyelashes.

"I didn't know we were being sickening, pookie. I'm just so focused on how much I'm in love with you, " he replied and he rubbed his nose to mine in an Eskimo kiss.

Emmett made a retching noise and we both laughed. "Calm down, Em," I said, kicking him with my foot.

Outside, a roar of thunder sounded, a flash of lightening ripped through the sky. "That storm looked pretty wicked," Edward said, looking out of the window at the dark clouds that were devastatingly close to the house now.

"We'd better get some candles," Jasper said. "There're some in the bathrooms and bedrooms."

We all dispersed throughout the house and collected all of the candles we could find. I came into the living room carrying an antique candelabra that would hold four candles as Edward came from our bedroom carrying a box of tea light candles and a flashlight. "Any more flashlights, Jasper?" he asked, hitting the flashlight against his palm when it did not turn on right away.

"Nope, sorry. That's the only one I can find."

"Great," Edward replied, turning the flickering light off.

Rain had started to fall, hard and fast, outside and thunder was rumbling at regular intervals now. I had always loved major thunderstorms, ones where we lost power. They provided endless hours of entertainment for Edward and I when we were young. We'd put two tall chairs about four feet apart, back to back, and throw a sheet over the tops to create a fort. He would bring a flashlight and I would bring the snacks (usually chips or candy) and we would tell each other scary stories.

As we grew older, storms were spent composing music together. Endless summer days were spent in guitar lessons, Edward teaching me all of our favorite songs. He wrote tons of music on his piano as I sat on his bed and listened. Sometimes he sang. I reveled in the fact that he was a musical genius, with an amazing voice.

The last major storm we had was after we first told each other how we felt. We spent the whole time holed up in his bedroom, kissing and flirting relentlessly.

With the new developments in out relationship, I wondered how our first thunderstorm as lovers would be spent. Edward would probably go upstairs and grab his guitar, play me a song to serenade me. Perhaps we would excuse ourselves and go upstairs for some privacy. Would he try to have sex? Would I?

These thoughts were completely hopeful. He didn't look like he was thinking about sex at all. In fact, he looked exhausted.

**EPOV**

Bella and I had just agreed to keep having sex. When she said she was scared, I thought she hadn't really been ready, and that I had taken advantage. I had never felt so bad in my life. Thank God she wasn't meaning that.

And, truthfully, I'm scared as well. What will this continuance of physical interaction mean for our future? If we were to ever break up, we couldn't remain to be friends. Not with a sexual history. Could we? I've heard that it never works the same. That lovers can never go back to being just friends.

Quite frankly, I don't want Bella as only a friend anymore. I want her as my woman. I want her in mind and in body. I want to feel her tiny body beneath mine, wriggling in pleasure. That was the most incredibly intimate and private moment in my life. I've never felt like I loved someone as much as I felt last night.

It's official, I will never be able to go a day without seeing her, without touching her in some way. She is my air, my water, my love, my life. I need nothing else as long as she is by my side.

She was lighting candles in an old fashioned candelabra, striking match after match. She never had been able to properly light the damn things. I chuckled lightly and came to help her. She glared at me and handed me the book of matches. "Here you go, tough guy, have at it."

I made a show of properly lighting the candles and she rolled her eyes. "Always perfect."

"What can I say?" I asked arrogantly.

She was leaning on the table, supporting her weight on the edge. She looked exhausted. I hoped she got enough sleep last night, after out little "sexpedition," as Emmett would say. I put a hand on the small of her back. "You okay, love?"

She smiled up at me and nodded. "Yeah. Just thinking, ya know?"

I nodded in response, a grin spreading across my face. We were both clearly remembering last night.

Oh how I desperately wanted to do that again. I wanted to see her in her full glory. She was absolutely stunning, not a single imperfection. But so shy and maddeningly self-conscious. I would have to break her of the false belief that she was not beautiful. I honestly can't see how she never saw it before. I needed to let my hands run over her silky skin, uninterrupted. Needed to feel her quiver and shake beneath me as she moaned and breathed out my name. Needed to see the sexy, ravenous look in her eye.

But, with her feeling doubtful today, I knew tonight would not be the proper night. I wanted to give her some space--to let her think and discover herself before we discover each other once more.

**BPOV**

"Someone needs to go down to the cellar to get it," Alice was saying as we entered the living room area.

"Not it!" came from all around, and eventually Edward and I were the only ones left not holding our fingers to our nose tips.

I sighed. "What do we have to get?"

Emmett smiled. "Excellent."

"My grandfather keeps a grand selection of wine in the cellar, some of his own creation. Fine merlot. Your job is to go down and bring up a few bottles."

"We are not drinking," I protested.

"Come on, Bella. Quite being a prude. Loosen up a bit. We're not going to get smashed. Just a little something to warm us up a bit," Emmett said, rolling his eyes.

"I am not a prude."

"Certainly not," Edward said.

Emmett laughed and I elbowed Edward, who didn't recognize the implications of his words until it was too late. "Ow," Edward rubbed his ribs. "Emmett, quit acting like a fool."

I turned on my heel and went to the kitchen, where the cellar door was. Edward grabbed my hand. "Sorry 'bout that. I didn't mean it like that, and we both know it. Emmett's immature sometimes."

"I must say, though, I am a little curious as to what you and he talked about this afternoon," I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

He grinned cheekily. "I'll show you sometime."

I blushed and Edward laughed and brushed a hand across my face. "Come one then, let's go get the winos their damn alcohol."

I opened the door and he stopped me once more. "I'll go first."

"Why?"

"I gotta protect you," he stated.

"From what? The boogeyman?"

"Hey, you never know," he said, making pseudo karate movements with his hands.

I giggled and he went down the steps, holding onto my hand as I followed. The cellar was damp and smelled like fermenting alcohol. I wrinkled my nose at it, and Edward took a big whiff. "Weird smell, eh?" he asked, walking to the large wall of wine racks.

"Which ones do we pick?" I asked, eyeing the many choices.

He shrugged. "Merlot?" he asked, picking up a bottle.

"Yeah, they mentioned something about that," I said, searching the labels for merlot.

A harsh rumble of thunder crashed and the lights flickered and then cut off. The cellar was completely dark, except for the occasional flash of lightening, which lit up the whole cellar in an eerie white light for a brief second. Edward touched my back once more. "You all right?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine."

His hand ran up and down my back and we stood stark still, waiting for the power to cut back on, against all hope. I paced my hands on his chest and leaned up to kiss his neck. "I don't want to go back upstairs. We should just stay down here," I mentioned.

"Bella," he sounded as though he were trying to be stern but failing miserably. "We've got to."

"HEY!!" Emmett's voice boomed, making me jump, practically out of my skin, jumping back into the wine rack and knocking a few bottles from their slots.

Edward pulled my out of the way so they wouldn't hit me. My heart felt like it would break the skin of my chest it thumped so quickly. A flashlight flickered on and Emmett's face appeared. Edward looked pissed, like he was ready to kill Emmett for scaring me so badly. My face grew angry and I balled up my fists and began punching Emmett wherever I could reach. "You asshole! I nearly had a heart attack!! Look what you made me do!"

Wine was leaking from three broken wine bottles. I was still hitting him when Edward grabbed my hands. "Bella, Bella calm down. Emmett, I should kick you where it matters! What the hell were you dong sneaking up on us?"

Emmett leaned away from me, though Edward had my tiny wrists clutched in a firm grasp. "You forgot to bring the flashlight. Then the power went out. I knew you needed one."

My breathing and heart rate were returning to a normal rate. I was still fuming as I grabbed three random bottle and cradled them in my arms. "Come on, I got them. Let's go."

Edward led they way with the flashlight and Emmett apologized as we were walking up the stairs. "It's fine, Em. Just, never sneak up on us again. I nearly died of a heart attack."

He laughed nervously, apparently glad the situation had been diffused. "Sorry."

We entered the living room, my three bottles and Emmett's two. "Is this enough?" I asked.

"More than enough. We told you we aren't getting rip-roaring drunk!" Alice said, raising an eyebrow at us.

"Eh, shut up and come and get some," I said, handing a bottle to Emmett who uncorked it.

Jasper pulled out the wine glasses and Alice poured a half glass for everyone. We all picked one up and Rosalie raised hers. "To end of summer celebrations and lifelong friendships!"

We all raised our glasses and clinked them together. I shot Edward a look and he smiled. "An excellent toast."

I raised the glass to my lips and took a sip. It had an intensely strong taste, but it was pleasant enough. I drank my glass down the fastest and poured some more. We sat around, talking about nothing in particular. Alice mentioned first kisses. "So, Bella, who _was_ your first kiss, huh?" she asked, taking a sip of her drink.

I could feel my cheeks grow red as everyone centered their focus on me. "Well… Eric Yorkie…" I was ashamed to admit it.

Edward's eyes grew wide. "What? When?" he asked.

I looked at the ground. "That time you had the flu. We went to recess and he kissed me by the swings."

"How come you never told me?" he asked, looking offended.

"It was second grade. Why would I have? That just seemed like something I should keep to myself."

"Eh," Edward shrugged, "You're probably right. Would have given me one more reason to give him an atomic wedgie or a swirlie."

We all laughed and Edward's eyebrows furrowed. "Wait, that wasn't your first. Don't you remember that time, at Mike Newton's sixth birthday party?"

I thought back to Mike's sixth birthday party. That was so long ago, I had forgotten about it. I shrugged. Edward sighed. "You don't remember?" he asked.

I thought harder and still drew a blank. He grew exasperated and said, "Remember, you fell when we were roller skating and scraped your knee pretty bad. I kissed it, "to make it feel better" but you still cried, so I kissed you to make _you_ feel better?"

I narrowed my eyes in concentration. "Oh yeah! Your lips tasted like nachos!" I wrinkled my nose. "Wasn't exactly the epitome of romance."

"Hey," he shrugged once more, "I still beat Eric Yorkie by one year!" he said triumphantly.

I rolled my eyes. "You must be so proud."

Edward put an arm around my waist. "Sure am, because look, I still beat Eric. I've got you, even though he desperately wants you."

I cringed unconsciously. "You've always had me," I reminded him. "There was no competition."

"Damn straight. And don't you forget it," he said, planting a kiss on my temple.

"So, how about you, Alice? Who was your first?"

"Tyler," she said matter-of-factly. "We were twelve and it was on the soccer field in gym."

"Aw, well, that's…sweet," I said.

She quirked an eyebrow and raised her lip in a sneer. "Not really. He kind of just started babbling and then, bam! He was all over my lips."

We laughed once more, the wine giving me a warm and heavy feeling. "I guess first kisses aren't meant to be all that great."

"Hey, I'd call that first kiss incredible," Edward said defensively, grinning widely.

"Whatever, Paco. Next time, brush the nacho out first."

Emmett laughed and Edward glared at me playfully. "Take that back, Isabella."

I shook my head, placing my glass on the table I was leaning on. "Nah, don't think I will."

He growled playfully, putting his glass down too. "Take it back, Swan."

I crossed my arms. "Or what?" I asked.

"I'll get you," he said simply.

I raised an eyebrow and took off running. Edward chased after me, purposely allowing me some leeway. I went around one side of the couch and he went to the other. We had a bit of a stand off before he went around and proceeded to chase me. He quit giving me a lead and quickly chased me to the sofa chair. I climbed on top of it and stuck my foot out as a protection mechanism. He grabbed it and put one foot on the chair. I lost my balance when he grabbed it and fell backward, knocking the chair backward, and dragging Edward down with me. He landed on top of me, and after my initial shock wore off, a loud and heartfelt laugh escaped. I didn't even feel any pain, which was to be expected after falling over a sofa and having a hundred and fifty pound man land on top.

He laughed with me and used the way our bodies were situated to his advantage. He pinned my hands above my head with one strong hand and ran another along my cheek. "Take it back."

I shook my head. He lowered his lips to my neck , making me momentarily forget my name. "Take it back," he repeated his command.

He unleashed his mesmerizing eyes on me. He held my gaze, his beautiful green ones, with the rings of blue, boring into mine, a devilish half grin on his perfect face. It made me forget everything. I nodded. "What was that?" he asked.

I tried to make a coherent statement. "I give up."

He shook his head. "No no. Say you take it back."

I conceded. "I take it back."

"Tell me it was the best first kiss you could have ever hoped for."

"It was the best first kiss I could have ever hoped for," I said, not even listening to what I was saying.

All I could focus on was Edward's weight on top of me, and I wanted so badly to be in a different situation, one that involved him naked…

"Now tell me, who's the best kisser?" he said.

I regained composure a tad. "Eric Yorkie," I teased.

He narrowed his eyes. "Uh uh uh. Say 'Edward, you're the best kisser.'"

"Fine. Edward, you are the best kisser."

He smiled widely and got off of me, purposely dragging a hand across my thighs, where last night he had left a burning trail of kisses. "Why, thank you."

I looked up at him as I remained on my back on the floor. He looked down at me and I brought my feet behind his and tripped him. He lost his balance and fell next to me, his head by my feet. "Would you like me to stroke your ego anymore tonight?" I asked, feeling the wine now in my bloodstream, making me lethargic and easy going.

Edward laughed as Emmett said, "Oh, I'm sure there's something else he's like you to stroke as well."

"What kind of weird, kinky foreplay was that?" Rosalie asked.

O.O.O.O.O

So, there goes a lighthearted chapter, after so many dark ones.

Oh, and that was _**NOT**_ the foreplay Emmett told him about, in case you were wondering. That'll show up later on, I think.

So, it's review time, lovelies. I want to thank you again for reaching over 200 reviews!


	14. Chapter 13: Toes in the Sand

**A/N: **You guys continue to make me happy, I must say. Thank you to all who review!

Chapter 13: Toes in the Sand

We all went to our respective rooms after the whole "stroking Edward's ego" debacle. I took the wine away to prevent Emmett and everyone from breaking their vow to keep from getting drunk. Enough wine to make one lethargic and warm is enough, but getting drunk would be unacceptable. I know how getting drunk ends up--with bruises to the back and lifelong regrets. My friends, save for Edward, complained at first, but after Edward's meaningful glare, they went without complaint to their rooms.

Edward and I went to our room, our bodies pleasantly heavy. I landed on the bed, tired from the day's events. Edward laid next to me, stroking my hair and arms. He sang softly to me, a song I didn't recognize, and one I didn't care to recognize. To me, it was his own song, and his voice lulled me into a deep, dreamless sleep.

I awoke to him nuzzling his face into my neck, kissing the hollow spot behind my ear. I moaned and he grinned against my skin. "Morning."

He was already dressed and pulled the blanket off me and lifted me up and brought me to the bathroom. "We're going to the beach. Get cleaned up."

I groaned in protest and he laughed. "No complaints."

He left me to get ready and take a shower. Though I hadn't drank too much last night, I had a slight headache--not one that is unbearable, but one that's irritating enough to make me irritable for the whole day. Our friends were surely going to love me today.

I got out of the shower and went to pull my swim trunks out. I pulled them on and looked into the mirror. In my baggy black trunks and white tank top, I looked like a serious tomboy. Completely unappealing. I went back to the drawer and dug underneath all of my jeans and tops. I reached the tiny bikini Alice had bought me.

I wrinkled my nose at it, but decided to try it on. It was made of a knitted black fabric and reminded me of the bathing suits of the '70's. It tied behind my neck and back and on either side of the bottom. It was incredibly tiny and exposed way too much breast and torso. The sides of my butt cheeks even hung out! It made my pale skin look even paler, but in a good way. I looked like one of those women in a fashion magazine who didn't mind the fact that the whole world would see if they had missed a shave. (Good thing I shaved, then.)

I let my hair out of the towel and tried to scrunch it up, though the scrunches hung in long wavy clumps instead of tight curls. I ran my hands repeated through it, trying desperately to fluff it up, even going so far as to put some gel in it. I put on a little of the peach eyeshadow Alice had insisted I bring.

When I was done, I looked fairly decent, I guess. But I felt like a fool. I heard the doorknob turn and my heart started thumping. Edward came in saying, "Hey, Bella, do you know if I packed my--"

When his eyes saw my reflection in the mirror, they grew to the size of saucers. He closed the door behind him and leaned back against it. "Bella, that bathing suit looks…"

"Ridiculous?" I filled in for him. "I'll change right now."

"No! Don't! You look amazing. Incredible. I-I…can't even begin to tell you," he was stuttering.

I smiled shyly and he made his way to me. I felt his hands run over my bare sides, my knitted bathing suit. He dragged his lips over my neck as he played with the straps that held it closed at my hips. I swatted his hands playfully and pulled away. "Someone's coming," I mentioned, hearing footsteps.

"Are you guys dressed?" came Jasper's teasing voice.

I rolled my eyes. "Come in, Jasper."

Jasper looked me over before he let out a whistle. "Wow, Bella. You look like a girl."

I punched his arm and he laughed. "Kidding, kidding. You look nice. Never seen so much skin before… Anyway, Alice and Rose are going to town to go shopping. Wanted to know if you wanted to go."

I snorted in disgust and rolled my eyes again. "Do I ever want to go?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Well…no…"

"And I still don't. I'm going to the beach," I said, slipping on a t-shirt and looking for a clean pair of jeans in the process.

Jasper left and, after I found a pair of flip flops, Edward and I followed. The other girls had left and only Emmett and Jasper were in the entrance hall. "Let's go," Jasper said.

"So, Bella, I hear Alice bought you a present for the beach?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Edward punched his arm. "Shut up, Em. And keep your eyes off her presents, or I'll hurt you."

Emmett laughed and put his hands out. "Calm down, Edward. I'm just teasing the girl."

Edward put his hands around my hips and stood behind me, shooting Emmett a protective and possessive look. "Yeah yeah. You better stay away, or I'll tell Rose."

The bigger brother laughed and turned around, grabbing his keys from the side table. "Let's go, bro, before all the tourists get all the good waves," he said in a pseudo surfer accent.

Emmett's driving was the most horrifying driving I had ever seen. And I had ridden with Alice on more than one occasion. He drove fast, and his huge jeep had practically no shock absorbance, so I could feel every bump we went over. I was beginning to fell car sick and had just placed my head on Edward's shoulder when Jasper said, "We're here!"

I leaned up, instantly regretting doing so. "Oh, thank the sweet Lord. I'm gonna hurl," I said, leaning back once more.

Edward laughed and kissed my cheek. "Quite your whining and get out."

I glared at him but proceeded to get out of the vehicle. I had a towel around my shoulders and I waited until Emmett was a good distance ahead of me before I took it off and rolled it around and around. I snapped his butt with it and he jumped and said, "Youch!" while grabbing his bum.

I laughed as Edward's eyes widened and he giggled. "Swan, you're going down," Emmett said, rolling his towel up.

I jumped behind Edward instinctively and he stood straight. "Don't you dare touch her!"

His brother rolled his eyes. "You are no fun, little bro. I don't know how we're related!"

Edward tried to look offended. "I resent that!"

I stepped beside him, grabbing a nice handful of his backside as I did so. "I tend to disagree with him. I find you to be very…entertaining."

Edward raised an eyebrow and one side of his mouth flipped up as he put an arm around me. "You little vixen," he whispered, giggling slightly and kissing my cheek where it almost meets the ear.

For the first time, I took in the sight of the beach before us. There was absolutely no one around as far as the eye could see in either direction. The water looked cool and inviting, the waves larger than my body. The sand was almost white it was so sun bleached. I took of my flip flops and instantly regretted it. "Ho- that's hot!" I said, grabbing my burnt foot.

Jasper and Emmett laughed as Edward rubbed my foot. They finally made it to a spot where they'd be settling down and began spreading out a sheet, one of the expensive sheets from the linen closet. They put their shoes at the corners so it wouldn't blow away, and Emmett proceeded to rip off his shirt while running for the water. Jasper rolled his eyes and sat down. He pulled a bottle of suntan lotion on and began applying it to his already burnt skin in thick globs. He kept his shirt on to protect his badly burnt back. He pulled out a thick, leather bound book and settled down to read.

Edward and I had brought our own sheet and spread it the same way about twenty feet away from Jasper's. I pulled a bottle of my own lotion out and my iPod. Edward watched as I pulled my jeans off slowly and folded them. I looked toward Emmett, to make sure he wasn't watching me as well. He was doing a backstroke and appeared to be off in his own little world. I peeled off the t-shirt, Edward's eyes still surveying me.

I sat next to him as I began folding the shirt. "What?" I asked, avoiding his eyes.

"That is by far the sexiest bathing suit," he said, grinning appreciatively.

I sighed and handed him my bottle of lotion. He grabbed it and said, "Ah, gladly."

He took his time applying it, massaging my back gently. I didn't want him to stop, my back was far too tense, but he quickly handed my the bottle and kissed my suntan lotion-covered skin. I put some on my arms and legs as he watched, eyeing my attentively. When I laid back, he laid on his side, propped up on his elbow. Looking down at me, his hair fell messily into his eyes, making him irresistibly sexy. I reached up and ran my hands through it, pushing the loose hair back, only to have it fall once more. In this sunlight, the red in his hair was pretty evident, giving it more of an auburn look, than bronze. Like dark cinnamon.

His eyes swept my scantily clad body and he ran his fingers over my face. "That bathing suit…" he said huskily.

"What about it?" I teased.

"Makes me want to…"

"To what?" I asked, being the demanding one.

He sighed and smiled, but I wouldn't take that as an answer. "Tell me what it makes you want to do," I whispered.

He was about to answer when we felt the wind pick up and it blew sand in his eye. He blinking madly. "Ow!"

I laughed and he shoved my shoulder playfully. "That was incredibly romantic," I joked, closing my eyes and letting the sun's warmth wash over me.

He said, "Oh, no you don't. You cannot go to sleep!"

"Why? It's so nice out here," I said, shielding my eyes from the sun as I looked up at him.

He grinned evilly and lifted me up, bringing me toward the water. I beat my fist against his chest, screaming, "No! Edward, don't you dare!"

He got waist high before he dumped me in. I came back up, coughing water out of my lungs and blinking salt out of my eyes. "You idiot!" I yelled, smacking him.

"You know, you're quite violent for such a little woman," he said, grabbing my wrists and pulling me closer to him.

"Yeah, well, you bring out this side of me," I said, my headache returning and my irritability rising.

He wrapped his arms around me and looked down at me. "Do you forgive me?" he asked.

I shook my head, giving him a hard time. He pouted. "But, I love you!" he pleaded.

I narrowed my eyes. "Prove it."

"With pleasure," he said, dragging his lips sinfully slow over my jaw, neck, and shoulder.

I closed my eyes once more, reveling in the feel of his lips on my wet skin. I decided there was definitely something incredibly erotic about being wet or in water. It was a major turn on. Edward obviously recognized that I felt this way, because he was grinning triumphantly, running his hand under the tie around my back.

When the sun began to set, he and I took a long walk down the strip. He held my hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss it every few minutes. Emmett and Jasper had stayed back at the Jeep, deciding to take the time to eat. We strolled well out of the line of vision, the jeep just a small green dot in the distance. The tide was coming in and the cool water covered our feet. I kicked the sparkly sea foam up and smiled at how utterly perfect the evening was.

I stopped walking and turned to Edward, who let go of my hand to place his on either side of my neck. He ran his thumbs along my jaw line and I sighed in content. He moved his hands to the small of my back and drew me closer to his own body. I traced his muscles with my fingertips, which caused goosebumps to crawl up his flesh. He shivered in delight and I leaned in to kiss his chest. I could still smell his scent over the salt water and it was making me want him badly. I flicked my tongue out to taste the salty skin of his shoulder and he moaned at the back of his throat.

I pulled away, realizing where we were and exactly how close we were to the residential beach homes. "We can't do this here," I whispered reluctantly.

His eyes showed the undeniable lust and passionate love I was presently feeling. He lifted me up once more and bent to kissed my face as I wrapped my arms around his neck and let my feet dangle over his arm. He carried me bridal style all the way to the jeep. His legs and back would surely be sore after all that distance with me in his arms, but he showed no signs of it.

We climbed into the jeep and kissed a little as Jasper and Emmett packed everything up. "Ugh, you two. Get a room," Emmett said in disgust.

"Oh, we intend to," Edward replied.

After another sickening ride back, Edward led me by the hand up to the bedroom and my heart was pounding in anticipation. When we got up there, I found a dress hanging on the closet door. The note said, _"A present for you, even though you ditched us!"_

Edward pulled me away from it and to the bed. "Forget the dress," he commanded.

I nodded and began pulling his shirt off.

O.O.O.O.O

Another short, happy chapter. The next one will be their last day in California, their last day in paradise, before they reenter the real world. Dun dun dun!

Please review. Next chapter will be up tonight or tomorrow morning!


	15. Chapter 14: Lost in the Vines

Chapter 14: Lost in the Vines

The week had been spent doing many weird and new things. We went dirt biking through the vineyards, went to town and did various odd things, spent all extra time at the beach and relaxing in the hot tub outside our room.

On our last day in California, the day before Labor Day, Edward and I had the entire day to ourselves. Our friends had taken off to go school shopping at the finest California boutiques and stores. We decided to stay home. We both needed a rest from the endless bustle of our vacation.

"Bella, love, wake up," Edward whispered into my ear, brushing my hair back and running a fingertip over my ear.

I groaned sleepily. "Get away!" I said unhappily.

Edward laughed and I instantly smelled pancakes. I opened my eyes to find Edward holding a tray of food. He waved the plate of pancakes under my nose, wafting their glorious smell my way. I sat up and smiled. "Breakfast in bed?"

He nodded. "Anything for my lady," he replied sweetly, sitting next to me.

We leaned back on the headboard and he set the tray in my lap, taking a strip of bacon. "Sorry, eggs, bacon, and pancakes are about all I can cook," he apologized.

I kissed his cheek and then took a bite of pancake. "I love it! I've never had breakfast brought to me before."

"Glad I could make you happy, then," he said, eating his bacon joyfully.

"You always know just how to make me happy," I reminded him. "But what's the occasion?"

He shrugged. "It's the first day we've truly been _alone_ in weeks. Back home, my mom and siblings were always hanging around. Here, all of our friends are constantly loafing around the house. But today, we are the only two souls around for miles," he said, looking thrilled at the idea.

"How ever shall we spend the day?" I asked suggestively.

He quirked an eyebrow. "I'm going to spend the morning pampering you. The afternoon is up to you, babe."

I narrowed my eyes. "Pamper me? How so?" I asked.

"You'll see," he replied mysteriously, pulling at the string of his pj pants absentmindedly.

I was a little worried as I finished the delicious breakfast in bed. With my luck, I was still asleep and this was all a dream. "How is it?" he asked, looking down at me.

I put my head on his shoulder and patted my stomach. "I can't eat anymore. I'm stuffed."

He took the tray from me and set it on the night table. He put a finger under my chin to tilt my head up and eagerly kissed me. I was not used to such a demanding passion from him in the morning. It was well after ten, late for him, but still… He pulled my shirt over my head and bent down to kiss my exposed breasts. He allowed his tongue to tease me for a while and I felt myself growing more and more turned on by the moment. I tried to take his shirt off but he pulled away and shook his head. He took it off himself. "I'm doing everything for you this morning," he explained. "I want you to have to do absolutely nothing at all."

I raised an eyebrow and he grinned before attacking my skin with his mouth once more. He ran his hands over my waist and toyed with the band on my sleep shorts. I wiggled my hips to let him know I was growing impatient with his teasing. He grinned into my lips and then lowered his down my jaw to my ear. "Patience," he whispered.

His hot breath tickled my ear and he bit my earlobe softly before lowering his head down my neck. I felt his teeth graze over my flesh, felt his tongue flick out and lick my collarbone, felt him blow lightly onto that same spot--causing me to writhe beneath him.

Finally, he got tired of teasing me and slipped my shorts off, taking my underwear with them. He gave my naked body a swift glance and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck. He carried me to the bathroom and turned on the water, never letting my lips free in the process. He stood me on my feet and I impatiently pulled the band of his pants down. He pulled away and glared at me playfully as he kicked them away from his feet. "Uh uh, no cheating," he scolded.

I grinned and leaned up on my tip toes to wrap my arms around his shoulders once more. I put my hands into his hair, loving its silky texture between my fingers. I heard him make a noise at the back of his throat and he pulled away. "It's time to get you cleaned up for the day, love."

He lifted me over the small step into the shower stall and closed the glass door, which was already covered with condensation from the steam. I looked him up and down and ran my hands over the places where beads of water had just trailed seconds before. He watched me and smiled before he turned me around and pulled me back to him, so that I was in the line of water. He wet my hair down thoroughly before moving me forward a bit. He grabbed my bottle of shampoo and put some into his palm. He began lathering it into my hair, gently massaging my head, getting rid of the dull ache.

"Oh, Edward," I breathed and he kissed my shoulder once before resuming his duty.

I felt his nails scrubbing into my scalp, the feeling making my knees weak. This had to be Heaven, it just had to be. "Okay, close your eyes as I get the shampoo out," he ordered, though it was unnecessary seeing as my eyes were already closed.

He tilted my head back, so that the shampoo could run out easily, running his hands repeatedly through my hair. "What has gotten into you today?" I asked.

He laughed lightly. "Are you enjoying yourself?" he asked.

I couldn't say anything, so I made a gurgling noise and he chuckled once more. "Ill take that as a yes," he said, clearly pleased with himself.

He put some conditioner into his hand and repeated the process, showering my bare shoulders and the back of my neck with more kisses as he did so. My legs were shaking slightly and I thought they would give out on me. I leaned back into his chest and he ran his hands through my hair to get the cream rinse out. When it was all out, he wrapped his arms around me from behind and moved my hair over one shoulder. He kissed the other one, biting lightly occasionally.

He grabbed a loofa and the body wash. He poured some onto the soft loofa and pushed me softly out of the water. He made trails of kisses with his mouth over my back, following those trails with the soapy loofa. I was definitely thinking about assaulting him now. I wanted so desperately to take him here and now. These thoughts were intensified as he got to his knees and kissed over one of my butt cheeks. Dear God, we're going to Hell for these little stunts.

I closed my eyes as I felt his brush the spongy loofa over the backsides of my calves and then up, in between my thighs. He grabbed wither of my hips and turned me around, standing as he did so. I took this time to look at his naked body. I could tell how much this was affecting him as well, and I wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch him.

He started his whole kissing and cleaning regiment again, tilting my head to get my neck, then over my shoulder, my left arm, over the top part of my chest, my right arm. I clutched at his bare skin as he lowered himself to kiss over my breasts, licking and nipping one before he trailed down my stomach. He licked a drop of water from my belly button and moved to my left leg. He kissed all the way down, lifting my leg to reach all the way down to my ankle, just as he had that first night after the hot tub.

I leaned back against the wall, for fear that one shaky leg would not be enough to stabilize my whole body. My eyes closed once more, feeling him work his way down my other leg. I opened my eyes, glazed over with uncontrollable lust, to see him on his knees, looking up at me. His wet hair was messy and sticking up in odd places. I brushed my hands over it and he closed his eyes for a moment before he reopened them.

He glanced down at the spot between my legs questioningly, and in a sudden bout of courage I shook my head. His eyebrows furrowed and he pouted slightly, unknowingly. I smiled and took the sudsy sponge from his hand. He raised one eyebrow and watched intently as I bravely touched myself. I could see his breathing start to speed up, a light blush crept across his face.

**EPOV**

I have never been so completely turned on in my entire life. I was definitely glad I took Emmett's advice on this one. Well, actually, all he had said was, "Make her bed in breakfast, run her a bath, put your feet into the tub and massage her back. It always works with Rose." I had decided to go one step further and join her in the shower.

I've don't think I've ever experienced such an erotic moment in my entire life. Never would I have ever guessed that this simple task could make my heart beat as fast as it was.

All I could do was stare up at Bella as she took the sponge from me and washed herself with it. It was a common, everyday chore. She had done this every day since she was old enough to shower on her own. And yet, she made it incredibly sexy. I could tell she was turned on. Her eyes were clouded over with a dreamy look and she closed her eyes for long moments at a time.

Finally I couldn't take anymore, I stood up and grabbed her hips. I pressed her against the wall, the water spilling over my back. "Bella," my voice was thick with desire.

She smiled wickedly. "Yes?"

Oh, cute. She was going to play innocent. Two can play that game.

**BPOV**

Edward was looking at me, a widely ravenous look I his eye. I hitched one leg up around his thigh and dragged it down while he said, "You truly will be the death of me."

He had me pressed against a wall, and I watched as the water hit his back and dripped over his shoulders. His hands roamed all over every inch of free skin. He grabbed my hips and once more turned me around, dragging his lips across my bare skin as he did so. I felt his hands grab my shoulders firmly and he squeezed. The feeling made my legs go weak once more, and I leaned on the washcloth bar to keep myself from collapsing completely.

His hands squeezed at my shoulders, his thumbs rubbed circles into my tense neck. He massaged my back gently, lovingly, constantly kissing my clean skin, whispering into my ear. "You are beautiful, Bella. Sexy, absolutely ravishing."

I know I was blushing, but his hands rubbing tender circles into my back made me lose my train of rational thought. His hands worked their magic over my hips and down onto my bottom before he made his way back up. My whole body was shaking with pleasure and a lust-filled anticipation.

I wanted him now. As his hands started kneading my shoulders and upper back once more, I grabbed one of his hands. I looked up at him and brought his fingertips to my lips as I blushed shyly. The water was lukewarm now, so he turned it off and opened the door. A cloud of steam rolled out of the shower stall as he grabbed a towel.

Edward smiled timidly at me. After all of that, he was still timid and unsure of if this was working. He began to dry me, slowly, pausing here and there to caress an area of my skin he may have forgotten in the shower. I fastened the towel around my chest and he grabbed another towel and began drying off my hair. I leaned to grab his towel and brought it over his chest and arms.

His breathing was ragged and when I ran the towel over his length, it hitched in his throat. "Bella… be good," he whispered.

I looked at him incredulously, a devilish smile creeping over my face. "After that stunt you just pulled, you want me to "be good"?"

He nodded and smiled. "Come on, let's go get dressed."

I could feel my jaw drop. "Just like that? You want to get dressed?"

He nodded innocently, his body betraying him and showing me that he'd like to do just the opposite. I glared at him and he wrapped an arm around my waist as we went into the bedroom. Sun was pouring through the window. "Let's go for a walk, shall we? It'll help us cool off," he said.

I nodded, still miffed that we were going to be getting dressed. He smiled a smile that annoyed me now and touched my cheek lightly. "What to dress you in today? Eh?"

Edward walked to the closet and pulled out the only thing hanging in it. The dress that Alice had bought me. I shook my head. "No way."

He pouted once more. He really did that too often for a straight man. I looked at him as though he were crazy. "But…it's blue!"

"Oh, come on. I love blue on you! Please?" Edward asked, unleashing the full power of those damn olive eyes on me.

"Fine," I said, taking it and then popping him in the back of the head with the plastic hanger.

He grabbed his head and laughed. "Hey!"

"That's what you get for making me wear a dress!" I said, no repentance in my voice.

He pulled on a shirt over his soaking wet head and laughed once more. I loved to hear him laugh--it was a musical sound, a full, heartfelt, warming sound. I pulled up my underwear and found Edward was once again staring. "You know, it's rather unsettling how much you stare at me," I teased.

"I just don't see how I got so lucky. You're like a gorgeous goddess."

I snorted at his comparison as I tried to zip up the zipper on the side. He stood, his pants still unbuttoned and came to help me. "There. Stunning," he said approvingly. "Remind me to thank Alice later."

I rolled my eyes and looked in the mirror. It was okay, I suppose. Rather low cut, like everything Alice chose for me, but light and flowy. I put on my converse shoes with it and they didn't look too horrible with the dress, so I didn't feel guilty as Edward and I set off for a walk for not wearing Alice-approved shoes.

We entered the vineyards in no time. I observed the thick, twisted, mangled vines that stretched between large posts. Bright, inviting, purple grapes grew along the way. "It's beautiful out here," I noticed.

Edward nodded and I got an idea. "Is it the afternoon yet?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I suppose it is."

I nodded sheepishly and remained silent as we walked a bit further. I picked a bushel of grapes (do grapes grow in a bushel? Hmm, I wonder) and I pulled the sheet from Edward's hands. He had brought it in case we decided to take a rest. I definitely wanted to take a rest. I made sure we were a good distance from the house, well hidden by the vines and posts before I spread the sheet out.

We both sat, side by side, with our legs stretched out ahead of us, leaning back on our hands. I popped a grape into my mouth and my mouth puckered with the sourness of it. Edward laughed at my face. "I don't think they're ready for another month or so," he said, amused.

I spit the grape out into the tangle of vines across from us and said, "You couldn't have told me that before I took a bite?"

"And miss that face you just made? No way, it was priceless."

I shot daggers in his direction with my eyes and he smiled, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "We've established it is indeed the afternoon. That means our activities are entirely up to you. How would you like to spend the afternoon, ma'am?"

I grinned and leaned in to kiss him. He responded with vigor and leaned down to whisper into my ear. "Good choice."

He pushed me back and laid between my legs. A light breeze blew, rustling the vines and causing me to shiver slightly. "I guess I'll just have to warm you up a bit," he said, running his hand under my dress.

"Oh, please!" I begged when I felt his hand brush across my underwear.

He slid my dress up, exposing only my lower half. "Well, since you said please," he reasoned.

I swatted his arm. "Stop teasing me!"

"Oh, bossy, are we? It turns me on," he purred into my ear, pulling my underwear off at a disturbingly slow rate.

He finally got them free and tossed them to the side. He brought his mouth down to kiss the tender flesh of my lower abdomen. I groaned. "Edward, please."

He only teased. That's what he was--a tease. Where did he come off teas--Oh, wow. I felt his finger slide right in--a slow, rhythmic pace. He curled it ever so slightly and I once again, for the umpteenth time that day, forgot my name. My toes curled and I let out a low moan from deep within. He worked his thumb across what Emmett so lovingly referred to as a woman's "love button."

That thought made me giggle and Edward looked confused. I shook my head and wiggled to tell him to continue. With his other hand, he pulled aside the top part of my dress and kissed between my breasts lightly, his lips just fluttering over my skin.

I brought my hands to his belt and unbuckled it. He quickly pulled his pants down and I took that time to sit up on my knees. Once he had his pants down, I pushed him back on the sheet and straddled his legs. He grabbed my hips as I ran a finger down the length of him. His hips twitched and I took courage from that. I grabbed him firmly and his eyes grew wide as I slid my hand up and down.

His hands clutched at my hips, then at the sheet beneath us. His face was bright red, his breath almost stopped. Finally, he said, "Bella. You…have to…stop…if you want…"

I nodded and allowed myself to be turned over once more. He wasted no time and, soon, we were both moving simultaneously. He was kissing my neck and I was clutching at his hair, pulling him down towards myself. He moved on top of me, carefully holding his weight. He looked straight into my eyes, making eye contact and then I felt it. I was sent flying over the edge of the abyss of sheer ecstasy, and my back arched into him as it did, my toes curled once more, my hands wrapped into his hair, his name on my lips.

His face was slick with sweat, his hair, still wet from earlier, sticking to it. I pushed it out of his eyes and it stuck up every which way. He rolled onto his back and pulled up his pants and zipped them, breathing shallow breaths that took a long time to return to normal.

It took a few moments before my legs would stop trembling and I could pull my underwear on. But, after we were both fully clothed once more, I laid my head on his chest and breathed in his scent, marveled at the wind that dried our slick bodies, causing small, delightful shivers.

O.O.O.O.O.O

Okay, another lemon for you horn doggies. Don't expect another one any time soon.

Now, I expect reviews, you hear? I love getting them!!


	16. Chapter 15: Paradise Lost

**A/N:** Time for the group to go back to reality. And, what a sad, sad reality it is…

Chapter 15: Paradise Lost

As we pulled into the Cullen's garage, I so desperately wished we were still back in California, a place that had become my own personal paradise. I wished Edward and I were back under the grape vines, the lazy breeze ruffling our hair and clothes, the calm after a passionate storm.

But, alas, here we were, in rainy, miserable Forks, Washington. The misty rain was irritating against my skin, made me want to scream aloud as I gathered my suitcases from Edward's trunk. "Why did we have to come home?" I whined.

Edward laughed and said, "Because mom threatened to come and retrieve us if we weren't home by sunset."

My lips turned up in a disappointed sneer. I began walking to my house and Edward grabbed my hand. "Where are you going?" he asked, his brow furrowing.

"Home," was my short reply.

"You better be careful," he said, looking at my dark house.

"Charlie should be better now, right?" I asked, feeling worry as I looked at his cruiser in the parking lot, the dark porch.

Edward snorted. "Yeah. I'll come over when the parentals go to bed."

I nodded and walked over to my house. I retrieved the key from under the doormat and entered my silent and black house. "Dad?" I called out, setting my suitcase down and flipping on a light.

I began pulling my jacket off as I walked from the hall to the living room. "Dad, where are you?" I asked.

The television was on to some game, the table covered with empty beer cans and liquor bottles. "Oh, dad," I whispered, disappointed that he hadn't kept his promise to stop drinking.

I walked upstairs, still calling his name. I peeked my head into the bathroom, and when it became clear that he was in his room, I knocked on his door lightly. "Dad, I'm home, you wouldn't believe--"

I stopped short when I opened the door. My father was lying face down on the floor, a bottle of Jack Daniels at his side. I picked up the empty bottle and looked at the label accusingly. I turned him over, a foamy spittle forming a puddle over his cheeks and the carpet. "Dad?" I was panicking now.

I shook him harshly, slapped his pale face. "Dad, get up! I'm home now!"

It was hopeless. I leaned back against his bed, tears spilling from my eyes. I placed a hand over his heart. It was beating feebly, his breaths slow and far between. I retrieved the cell phone from my pocket, a birthday present from Edward, and called the 911 operator. "911, what is your emergency?" the cool voice of an operator came over the line.

"My dad! He's passed out, and I can't wake him up!"

"What is the address, please?" came the voice.

She was wasting time. Didn't these people have advanced technology that could tell them exactly where I was? I gave my address, pleading with her to hurry. "Please, send some one!"

"An ambulance is on the way,' the cool, indifferent voice informed me.

I instantly hated the operator, her calm tone. What did she care if my father was wasting away? She didn't know him, he wasn't her loved one. I screamed into the phone in frustration, hopefully into her ear and threw it against the wall, where it shattered.

Why? Why couldn't he just keep his promise? He had been doing so well when I left, not a drink in two weeks! And now? He was passed out and foaming at the mouth. A deep wave of hatred washed over me, cut short by the flashing lights outside. I could hear the sirens and my crying grew hysterical. A knock at the door before it was opened and someone came in. "Hello? Forks City EMS!"

"Up here!" was the only thing I could say.

I heard heavy boots, two pairs it sounded like, running up the stairs. They came to the only room on the second floor that had a light on and found me crumpled next to my father, my head on my knees, my body rocking back and forth. "Get here out of here," one man said to the other.

A man with blond hair, about twenty, maybe twenty five years of age grabbed my shoulders and guided me down the stairs. My body was growing numb, my tears falling freely, without my knowledge.

He led me to the police cruiser in the front yard, to where Officer Vanderheiden stood. I cringed. Of course they'd send one of my father's fellow officers, this was Forks for Christ's sake! He looked at me, eyes full of the pity I so hated and clapped a hand to my shoulder. "I'm sorry to hear about Charlie, Isabella."

I shrugged his hand away and glared at him through tearful eyes. "Save your pity for someone else, Bill!" I told him and turned around to find the Cullen family on their lawn.

Edward was running toward her, concern prominent on his face. "What happened, are you all right?" he asked.

I nodded weakly. "It's Charlie…"

"What? What happened?" he asked. "Did he hit you again?"

I shook my head. "No. He's not…"

The paramedics wheeled Charlie on the gurney to the ambulance. Edward's eyes grew wide. "Is he…?"

I shook my head. "No. I came home and he was…on the floor…"

I buried my head into Edward's chest and he kissed the top of my head, stroking my hair and making shushing noises. Officer Vanderheiden came to where we stood and touched my shoulder once more. "Isabella, we're going to take him to the hospital."

"Is he going to be all right?" I asked, feeling scared suddenly.

"We don't know that, yet until we get there. I'm going to need to ask you a few questions, Isabella."

I nodded, feeling more civil towards him now that he wasn't showing pity. "Can we go first?" I Asked as the paramedics slammed the doors shut and two of them ran to their respective seats up front.

The officer nodded and waved us to his cruiser. I climbed in, Edward latched to my side, stroking my hair and grinding his teeth angrily. Riding in the back of Officer Vanderheiden's cruiser was a lot like riding in the back of Charlie's. When I was young, Charlie used to put me in the back, joke about taking me to prison because I was a hardened criminal. It was one of our own personal jokes, and I didn't expect anyone to understand. But riding in this new cruiser made me cry harder, feel even more helpless that my father was on the brink of death in the ambulance ahead of me.

We arrived at the ambulance entrance at the hospital and I got out and ran after the gurney, Edward beside me. The rushed Charlie into a room and Officer Vanderheiden grabbed my shoulder for the third time that night. I shrugged it off and he gave me a stern look. "Isabella, you can't go in there. You have to wait here. I need to ask you a few questions."

I furrowed my brow, my tearstained cheeks burning with salt. "What?" I asked, looking helplessly through the door they had just pushed my father through.

"Where was he when you found him?" he asked, flipping open a little notebook.

I looked at him incredulously. "On the floor where you found him!"

"Was he conscious when you got home?'

"No, obviously. Didn't the operator tell you what I said?" I asked, feeling a fresh wave of hatred for the calm, collected 911 operator.

"This is just standard procedure. You, of all people, should know this, Isabella."

Edward rubbed soothing circles into my back ad held me close. "Now," Bill began again, "how exactly did he look when you found him?"

And so the interrogation went on and on, until finally, Officer Vanderheiden closed his little notebook and stuffed it in his jacket pocket. "Thanks, Isabella. I hope everything turns out all right," he said, touching my cheek in the way an old friend of the family would touch one's face.

All I could do was nod numbly and watch his back retreat. I leaned into Edward and my eyes let loose no more tears. "Why'd this have to happen to my family?" I asked.

I could feel Edward shrug. "Bad things happen to good people, Bella. I don't know what else to say."

I shook my head. "I'm not a good person, Edward."

"How do you figure?" he asked, his tone both gentle and challenging.

"My father was drinking continuously and passing out. I left him alone. While he was here, alone and miserable, I was with you, in another state, having sex."

"That doesn't make you a bad person, Bella. You thought he had changed. Thought he would keep his promise this time," Edward said, anger definitely coloring his tone now.

I sighed. "Oh, please, Edward. This is God's way of punishing me for sinning. I just know it."

"Bella, you don't honestly believe that. Charlie's been on a downwards spiral since your mom died. Our having sex did not cause this. His depression acted as the catalyst that pushed him over the edge," Edward reasoned.

I pushed away from him angrily. "What do you know about Charlie? He's suffering--"

"Yeah. From alcoholism!" Edward said, both of us on our feet now.

I shoved Edward's chest harshly and he stumbled back. "What do you know?"

Edward took a defensive stance. "Oh, gee, I dunno. Maybe I know how bad it hurt me to have to see you climb through my window every night because he ignored you. Maybe I had to see the bruises on your back and feel helpless because there was nothing I could do about it. Maybe I've had to wipe away your tears too many times because you had no one else to go to."

He was right, of course. Which made me feel like shit. "Great, now we're fighting?"

"Just remember who was by your side every night for the last five years," he said, pain written on his face.

I watched as he stormed down the hall, feeling worse than I ever had in my life. I had just treated him like complete shit, even though he had always been there for me, without asking a single question, without demanding a single answer. I watched as he turned a corner, my feet planted firmly to the floor. I didn't even have the courage to go after him. After all he's ever done for me.

I sat down in the chair and put my head in my hands, crying harder than I ever had before. For my father. For my dead mother. For Edward. For my shitty life. The door to the room across form me opened and a kind looking doctor stepped out. "Isabella Swan?" he asked, confirming my identity.

I nodded, my chin trembling. The doctor's face was grim and he waved me into the room. My father was hooked up to too many machines. I went to his side, kissed his hand. His face was paler than I had ever seen, his lips purple. He smelled of vomit, stale alcohol, and the sickening sterile smell of the hospital.

"Is he going to be all right?" I asked.

The doctor sighed. "We can't really tell this early on. Miss Swan, would you father have any reason to kill himself?"

My head snapped up to the doctor's voice, my eyes staring at him intently. "Why are you asking me that?"

The doctor put on a sympathetic face--a face I had always hated people to give me-- and said, 'There were high levels of prescription barbiturates found in his system."

I looked at him like he had a third head. "Barbiturates are drugs that act as depressants. The particular drug we found in his system, Phenobarbital, is used as an anticonvulsant--"

"Charlie had seizures sometimes."

"Alcohol induced seizures. The doctor who prescribed him the drug failed to see this… He took almost a full bottle and downed it with alcohol. We've had to pump his stomach. His chance at survival id fifty fifty."

I put a hand over my mouth and shook my head. "No. That's not true! He took them for his seizures!"

The doctor shook his head slowly, sadly. "And so, Miss Swan, I ask you once more. Is there a reason your father would kill himself? Was he depressed? Were there any pervious suicide attempts?"

I was sitting with my head between my knees, holding my hands over my ears, shaking my head. The things this doctor was saying couldn't be true. They just couldn't. A knock sounded at the door and my head snapped up to see Edward slip through the crack. He looked from my father's frail form to my tear streaked face and came to kneel by me. "Are you all right?" he asked.

I nodded, grateful that he was by my side once more, despite our recent falling out. "I'm going to take her outside. She needs some fresh air," Edward said, an air of authority ringing in his tone.

The doctor nodded and allowed me to be guided to the door. When we reached it, he reached out to Edward. "May I have a word with you young man?" he asked.

Edward looked to me, pushed my wild hair away from my face and kissed my forehead. "Just sit at that chair. I'll be right out," he said, pointing to the chair I had spent the last two hours sitting in. "I bought you a water, over there."

I went to sit in that damn uncomfortable chair and sip the water he had bought me. It was cool and helped to soothe my throat, raw from crying. I knew he was in there telling about my mother's death and the negative effect it had on my father, telling as much as necessary but holding back the details.

He came out of the room looking exhausted and held his hand out to me. 'Let's go outside for a moment, shall we?" he asked, leading me to the automatic doors that led to the hospital's breezeway. We stopped on the path, both silent. The misty rain, an irritant this afternoon, felt good against my puffy face. Edward crossed his arms on the railing leaned his head on them, bent over. He was tired, I could tell. He had spent the day driving and didn't even have time before he was rushed off to help me deal with yet another mess. It was already midnight and he had school in the morning.

I leaned down, unable to look him in the eyes since our dispute, and said, "Edward, you should go home. You've got school tomorrow."

He shook his head and ran a finger down my arm. "I'm not leaving you. I'm here by your side as long as you need me to be."

I sighed, the day wearing on me. "Why are you so good to me? I just treated you like absolute shit."

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "I understand. But I won't get mad at you over it. I love you."

"I'm sorry," was all I said.

"I know," he replied, pulling his arm away.

"I love you, too," I added.

He smiled and sighed once more. "When your father gets out," I was grateful he didn't say 'if your father gets out,' "the doctor said he'll have to go to a facility."

I looked at Edward who was looking straight ahead. "What kind of facility?" I asked, feeling my lip tremble once more.

"One that'll help him get clean. For real."

I could tell by his tone he was holding something back. "What else?" I asked, wishing he would come clean.

He looked down at me at last, looking much too old for his age and said, "He's going to be placed in a special ward. One where he can be put on suicide watch."

"What kind of facility is this?" I asked, horrified.

Edward was hesitant. "Roaring Oceans," he replied shortly.

Roaring Oceans was the closest asylum, in Olympia. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at the ground. "My life is slowly falling apart, Edward," I said.

He put his arms around me and kissed my hair. "Not all of it. You still have me. You'll always have me."

I leaned into him and sighed. My father was in the hospital of a drug overdose and alcohol poisoning. My mother was dead. I would have to face everyone at school on Wednesday. No doubt, the word would have reached the ear of every student at Forks High School by then.

I looked up at Edward, my lifelong companion. The love of my life. The only person who has ever stood by side, and remained there. The wind played in his hair and he was look into the distance, deep in thought. In one short summer, he had gone from being a friend to the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever. It had only taken me seventeen years to realize how much he truly meant to me, but now that I realized exactly the magnitude of our relationship, I intended to hang on to him forever.

We turned and walked up the winding path that led back to the hospital, a path that had as many twists and turns as our path in life had. I grabbed his hand and smiled. This is how I wanted it to remain forever--walking down a solitary path, hand-in-hand, and in love.

O.O.O.O.O.O

_**THIS IS IMPORTANT, SO PLEASE READ:**_

**Well, that's the end of the story guys. I know you hate me for ending it just now. But I just felt like to continue on would just be dragging the story out too much.**

**If you'd like a sequel, you got one. But, I NEED IDEAS!! Where would you like to see Edward and Bella's lives lead? Their path to head? **

**I'll update this story with the title whenever I post the first chapter of the sequel, if that makes it easier for all of my faithful readers to find me again….**

**Let me know your brilliant ideas, all right? I feel like I need some input from you guys!!**

**Thank you for sticking with me for the last few weeks and for reviewing. You guys have really made my day a little bit brighter!**


	17. Alcoholism

I don't know why this bothers me so much, but to the person who left the comment about alocholism, I did the research for the story, honey. I said in the story, it took around five days for withdrawal symptoms to end, NOT for a person to be cured completely. I have an alcoholic relative, so I'd know that you can still feel the psychological effects as well as some physical effects months and months after. I have a list of only five of the sites I referred to, all saying between 3 to 10 days, depending on the site, averaging at around 5 days for WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS and DTs to stop. If you'd like, I can email them to you, at your real email account, since the one you gave is invalid. Or anyone else for that matter who would like to read up on DT's and alcoholism.

I never, NOT ONE TIME said Charlie would be cured in 5 days. Just that his DT's would be under control and Bella would be okay to see him.

You should REALLY learn to be a better reader if you are going to correct me. I admit that I am not perfect and make mistakes in my writing, but I always do research for something major in a story, and after reading over ten sites, I think I can safely say, I'm like ninety seven percent sure I'm right.


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